stoic nova
Want to start off by saying the TWs are very briefly touched on and not the main focus. I’m (mostly) fine and entirely safe currently.
At the time of starting to write this, it’ll be my 17th birthday in 31 minutes.
I feel like shit. The last year of my life has been a roller coaster.
At the start of the year, I really started talking to a girl. She was very sweet and we texted every night for like, 8 months. We started dating a year into meeting each other (met october 2024, started majorly talking in April ‘25)
She broke up with me a month and a half after dating me while I was in the hospital for a suicide attempt (no injury but was sent to the psych ward)
In September ‘24, I lost my aunt to liver cancer and haven’t been the same since. I’ve genuinely felt the looming presence of death for a year and a half nonstop.
And now, when I’m 17? What do I really have? I feel nothing. I have online friends only. I barely speak to anyone on a daily basis. I WANT to speak to people, but I simply have nobody who wants to.
Nobody is gonna celebrate with me this weekend, nobody is gonna wish me a happy birthday tonight or tomorrow, nobody is gonna even know except for my mom and my dad and my family in Ohio.
Nobody gives a fuck. I had so many happy things planned with my girlfriend I wanted to ask her to do around my birthday and Valentine’s Day, but now I won’t have that.
I don’t have friends who want to talk and celebrate because none of my friends talk to me anymore.
I don’t have anything. I feel alone. I am going to turn 17, I’m going to turn 18, and I’m gonna keep getting older and it feels like nobody is gonna sit down and care that I exist for any longer than a few months maximum.
rich gyro
peak talon