#Venting out

99 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

solar mauve
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We can continue here @vapid python

vapid python
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Yay

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No hammer here

solar mauve
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So as i was saying

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Lemme remember well

vapid python
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So my memory sucks but I did read the message

solar mauve
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Lemme retype it if ya wnat

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In short

vapid python
solar mauve
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Sry i didn't remember well

vapid python
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I'm sorry about your friends disappearing, maybe servers like this could be a help long term since there's a lot of people always here to lend a ear to listen. There's also a lot more communities online out there, and crisis help lines if you ever feel like you're on the edge. I'm also here if you want a friend ^^! I'm not that active but I don't plan on disappearing any soon lol

solar mauve
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Ik i used to go to phys2go server there was a channel for LGBTQ but everytime i vent i get the silent treatment

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Most of the time but not always

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People tend to enjoy and have fun online and i find it difficult for me tbh the fact that all over the years i haven't learned to love myself

vapid python
solar mauve
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Its understandable tbh

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It just feels heavy for me specially not having anyone irl i can call a true friend

vapid python
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Yeah, I'm still sorry you got the silent treatment, it's hard to even express your feelings and then get ignored

solar mauve
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Its ok i got used to it by now

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Well since ya know i still live under da shadows

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For years and years

vapid python
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Is therapy a choice for you? Maybe it could help you to talk it out with a professional who can guide you better

vapid python
solar mauve
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I learned to help myself on my own

vapid python
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It is the case in a lot of places

solar mauve
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Not for saudi Araba or the middle eastern side

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Our treatment is drugs

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Like medicine

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That might possibly corrupt ya

vapid python
solar mauve
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I heard from some people tho

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You see people look at us as we got some mental health issues

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These feelings and stuff are related to the past experiences

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While its true but we didn't control it

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It came naturally and over time it grow up as affection

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Some say it can be cured over time

vapid python
solar mauve
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Some say its temporarily

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Me personally i remember well how kids used to joke about these stuff

vapid python
solar mauve
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Exactly

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That what i am going through

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Just locking it up

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More and more and more

vapid python
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My High school was like that 💀

solar mauve
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Well i already told ya my story

vapid python
solar mauve
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Next year same thing happened but i learned to swallow it up

vapid python
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Locking it up is just making you suffer and you don't deserve this

solar mauve
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And regret even tho i had no choice

solar mauve
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Nothing

vapid python
solar mauve
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Very

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And mostly about leaving the ones i have to find people who i can be me around

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Far far away from the society i am in

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It may slowly kills me to say this but

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In order for me to be happy i have to stay far away from people who can't accept me

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Including my loving parents n family

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My friends and family tree

vapid python
solar mauve
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:(

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I have to face the reality

vapid python
solar mauve
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Religion

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I am a Muslim just for the record

vapid python
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My mom was a bit conservative but after a lot of effort she has changed, maybe they could too

solar mauve
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And its status that the penalty of same sex is ded

vapid python
solar mauve
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Brb getting a call

vapid python
solar mauve
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Back

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Sry if i took too long manicantbelievethis

vapid python
# solar mauve I am a Muslim just for the record

In that case this seems a lot harder since it's a religion with very strong beliefs, and while some people can change, if you're taught since young to hate gay ppl it's hard to open your mind, especially older ones.

Leaving your family behind must be one of the most difficult things in life, but if they can't accept you, even after trying so many times, the best thing for you is to go somewhere else and find/form a family who actually loves you by who you are. While the first step is the hardest, once you find your people you will realize that you don't need the hatred in your life.

Maybe the hole your original family leaves there won't ever dissappear but will become smaller until you barely notice it.

I wrote an entire text wall while you were gone 🔥

vapid python
solar mauve
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These things that you can't easily trust people for specially the fact that some people leave ya after they get what they want from ya

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Money revenge usage etc

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Worst thing is you can never expect when the betrayal happens

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In the end when all people run away from ya

vapid python
solar mauve
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You only have yourself

solar mauve
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Without family you have no backbone to lay on

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No last call support

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Thats i don't wanna lose

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No matter how rude mean and anything your they are your family like it or not they support ya

vapid python
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Friends can still be your last support tho, let's say that you leave your family, move somewhere else, and you finally are free to be yourself and find the people that accept you, im sure they would support you if anything were to happen

solar mauve
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Well

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Not the friend i have now atm

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But yeah your right

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But if i ever fall back in life i got my family in da end as much as i hate to say this

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Anyways brb again got some chores to do

vapid python
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You're a strong person with valid feelings, always remember that

Take care of yourself

solar mauve
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I got a warning for NSFW content because of venting 😕

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I suppose i should end this conversation to prevent further warnings