faint swallow
[No tw's! Except if crying is one]
The title explains it all, everynight i feel this urge to cry, and i dont know why, there is nothing wrong with my life, i live a happy life, have many friends, etc. But everynight i feel the urge to cry, i think that it may be this:
Some time ago i saw on a comment in a tiktok post, i dont remember the context but the reply was this: "blah blah blah, i was in love with him, the crush lasted a long time but as neither of us made a move the crush started dying"
So ima give you some cobtext, im secretly in love with my best friend since, like june 2025 maybe, and it was a while ago, so i may be experiencing what that reply on the video said, there is a part of me that is letting the crush die, while the other part or me replaced the happines and love i felt on my chest with emptyness and pain, and every time i think ab him (on the night), lr i touch my bed, or even when i close my eyes tl sleep i fell that emptyness and pain on my chest that makes me want to cry.
I have also notied that music, videogames and my phone are my escapism methods, everytime i answer a message, listen to some music or overal js looking at my phone, that sense of emptiness and fears dissapears, until i turn off my phone and try to sleep, then it comes again, smth that i did the first day that this happened was pulling an all nighter until the sleepyness took over me and made me sleep before the emptiness could return, im in no need of advice but any comments are appreciated.