Two things.

[mighty lodge]

Ugh.. I don't know where to start. I hate myself. I just want to feel like I actually make a goddamned difference in the people's lives that I care about. Like my bf.. I don't deserve him.. but.. I'm starting to get really anxious. He's gone most of the day.. but when we do talk it's amazing! Like? What the heck I'm just so confused I have literally no life I have no friends I talk to like 1 person. That's it. I wish I could do all this stuff but I can't. I want to go out and do things. But I get way too anxious I just want to feel normal. Everyone tells me there's no such thing but I don't care! I just want to feel loved and needed but no matter how hard people try. I just don't. But today I saw something..
and
It really made me think.. I just wish my old man were even the tiniest amount like this. God it really makes me you think when they're gone you know? Like we had some good-ish moments. But let's be real he wasn't the best he could be to me. He was way better for my lil brother than me so.. That hurts. Thanks for reading this guys.. even if you don't really care. Just appreciate what you got.

[modest viper]

You should find some hobbies and stuff ur life shouldn't revolve around ur bf

[thin plaza]

That's right

[mighty lodge]

Okay..

[placid gale]

u definitely deserve your bf
people deserve the best
and you said that time spent with him is amazing

maybe become friends with some of his friends? that seems like an easy way for you to meet people

[mighty lodge]

I dunno.. he doesn't really talk about having any friends..

[mighty lodge]

I can try tho..

[placid gale]

try and see
maybe itll work