I’ve always supported her. We even organized schedules together for sleeping, eating, and self-care. But lately she’s been neglecting herself: not sleeping well, not eating properly, skipping her meds, poor hygiene, managing money badly. I get it — she might be depressed — but there’s a point where it becomes too much.
What frustrates me the most is that she has professional support, and I don’t. I also have trauma: abuse, bullying, eating disorders, dysphoria, family problems. I’m studying, worried about scholarships in my country, stressed about family, and constantly afraid of missing my chance at university. I have no money or time for therapy. I handle all of this alone.
Yet she constantly says I’m her only emotional support. That I’m the only person she can turn to. And that has started to feel too heavy. I feel the relationship has become one-sided: when I try to share my struggles, she often doesn’t respond, doesn’t show support, or gets upset.
Yesterday, I asked to reduce calls and conversations for a week — not to distance myself, just to recover and be better for her. She misunderstood, saying “then what’s the point of having a partner if I can’t rely on you?” and accused me of being selfish. She only understood a bit after a friend explained it to her.
#So, it's over, isn't it?
drowsy fossil
There’s also the problem with a friend group. A guy named Naza made some inappropriate jokes months ago, apologized, but people —including my girlfriend— still tease him. His girlfriend Esme left the group because of this. I left the group today in support of Esme and because I felt uncomfortable with people joking about serious situations, even grooming allegations that are unconfirmed.
When my girlfriend asked why I left, I told her it was “stuff” and related to Esme, but I couldn’t say more because she confided in me. She insisted, shouted, used insults, accused me of ruining the relationship, and didn’t respect my boundaries.
Then in another group , I made a joke about an admin unrelated to her. She said publicly: “you have time to talk here but not face me.” This escalated the private chat, she kept attacking, and eventually blocked me.
I was on the verge of a breakdown. This isn’t new — it’s happened before. I’m emotionally drained. I’m seriously considering ending the relationship. Not because I don’t care, but because I can’t keep sustaining it without harming my own mental health.
And the worst part… I still love her. Or at least, I love the cute, affectionate part of her — not this version full of anger, victimhood, and dependence.
I’d really appreciate advice.