Hi, i need help, i think i just realized im gay and i am confused and feeling very not good. I actually hate it, like, i feel like a disapointment and like as if my life has been a fraud idk why, looking back I have always tried to be straight but i do think deep inside i have always just liked boys. Im really scared. I dont know anyone gay everyone around me irl is straight and like all my freinds call gay people names and stuff and they say it with like a negative meaning and im so afraid that if they find out no one will look at me again because my family wont accept me directly either, they have always tip toed around the jokes of what if someone was gay. I feel useless right now, i feel like idk just a disapointment to my dad, its wierd, im ashamed of this actually, i am. I dont want to be gay, i have been raised as like a normal boy i like videogames and guns and sports and stuff idk why i have to like boys im just so confused. I dont think ill ever tell anyone about this, i want to hide this away forever, im scared, and im ashamed, i really wanna be normal and like i want to fit in with my friends and i dont wanna be called names. Im so nervous, im like in panic right now im shaking its like my life has been torn apart or something.. Im sorry for telling you my problems, this is my first time ever talking about these feelings, im sorry if i bored you i would apreciate any comments idc call me an idiot i just need an opinion from someone, i can talk to anyone irl, thank you and again im so sorry if i bothered you
#I think im gay
hidden pawn
I just feel traped, i wish i could tell everyone and like they would not care but it just wont be like that, and i dont want to loose everyone i know, i wish so badly i could just tell everyone but idk im just so scared and like so ashamed cus i was rased to like girls ig and i just idk... I think i will have to carry this forever in my life but its just that I want to be happy.. And i cant be happy if i tell people or if i dont
Like even talking about it, i just feel ashamed of this but i just want to talk about it, i cant pretend anymore i really just cant
abstract idol
Hey, so I’m not gonna be real helpful with advice. But I can tell you that I know exactly how you feel right now.
I know it may feel very life ending right now. But just take a couple of deep breaths (I know, so helpful). But you have this loving online community now, that is always here for you. I know online isn’t the same as irl, but trust me it does help.
If you’re looking for queer friends and not just an open community (the chat in big servers like this one sometimes gets really overwhelming) my dms are always open.
I don’t know what stage of life you are in, so if you’re still in school (like me) or if you have a job, if you still live your family. So I can’t really help you with coming out, because I know what it’s like to have people say “just do it and cut contact with the people who don’t support.” I’m not really in a position to do that and I don’t know if you are. But like I said me and the wider queer community are always here for you, every step of the way.
hidden pawn
im 18, i live with my family. Im going to supress these feelings and never let them out idc anymore im too ashamed
abstract idol
Okay, thanks for the info.
Suppressing your feeling isn’t gonna work long term, and if it does do you really wanna never be happy? I don’t know what the pride movement is like where you live, but if it’s shame that keeping you in the closet, then good news, you can fix that.
If your family is super religious or if you have any concern that they might harm you in anyway, I would say that the next step is to move out of their house soon. This gives you the freedom to date and explore your sexuality maybe even before coming out to anyone you know. Just go to a gay bar if they have those where you live, or just a normal pub, start flirting with guys.
You can have a happy future, you just have to see it.
We’re all here for you buddy, stay safe out there.
hidden pawn
I live in france but like the thing is everyone here is unconfortable with gays and make fun of us and stuff and its just seen as bad, i dont want to leave my family either... I want to tell everyone so bad and i want to date a a man but no one will accept me.. and im tied to those people, they are everyone i know, im too scared to leave
I just dont get why im like this.. I was not raised to be like this and idk why i have to like men but i do and its like just so confusing and i just dont really see a way out ever im starting to hate myself for being like this i just idk... I want everyone to see me the same but ik they wont
Im ashamed im talking about it right now.. But i just dont know what to do im so lost i feel like really bad and so just confused and sad
abstract idol
I’m really sorry about all of that. Like I said I’m not real helpful with advice and stuff like that, but have you tried Journaling? That’s been my way of getting to know and love myself. I know it sounds stupid, but for me it really helps.
Also, I’m not sure if this would make you feel better or worse. But maybe try reading some gay stories. Reading wlw stories is how I learned more about myself. I know the heartstopper books are available in France, I would maybe try those. (I personally have not read them or seen the show but I’ve heard they’re good.) And if you can’t get the physical books (they are pretty obviously gay on the cover) maybe try an ebook or audiobook. That’s how I snuck books.
Anyway, im really sorry you’re going through this right now.
Just remember to love yourself, because everyone here loves you.
hidden pawn
Thank you so much