TW: suicide and dysphoria and that shit

[fair jacinth]

I’m trans. Dysphoric and can’t start oestrogen for 4 years. I don’t want to live my life as a trans woman so I think I’m going to kill myself. I also don’t want to live the next 4 years being dysphoric and wanting to kill myself. I just want it over. I’m also fucking lonely and everything about me being trans makes it hard to date people. I hate my life and I want to die

[past tangle]

Please don't, I know it's hard, I know because I'm living it right now, sometimes I don't want to live but you need to keep trying, even if it's not for you right now, maybe for your future, a future where you can be happy, be yourself, be in a relationship with someone you love. I know right now things might be really hard, but it can get better. Please please don't end it, there's always a reason to keep going. I hate that I'm trans, I wish I was cis, I really do, but I know I'll never be cis, I'm trying to do best with I can, it hurts but I'm trying, you also need to try. Also is there a reason you won't be able to start hrt?

[fair jacinth]

Being trans is just added to the list of why I wanna die. I can’t start hrt for a while because of age, I’m closeted, we don’t have the money and the nhs waiting list is too long

I hate it all tbh