feeling depressed, lonely, empty

[fervent vapor]

I am still feeling depressed, my best friend left me, my lover left me. tried dating again, they left me too.

sometimes I wonder if the cycle will end. or if I am just destined to suffer for the rest of my life.

I did not have the energy to keep making youtube content, but I do fear to lose subscribers.

sometimes thoughts of ending it all flash in my mind. I tend to ignore them. but the frequency of it worries me.

it also does not help that my parents are not supportive of letting me be who I am. they keep trying to force me to be someone I am not.

if anyone has any advice. or generally wants to talk to me please do talk to me, or please do give advice. I am tired of this.

[bronze barn]

I’ve had an interesting time dating? Idk if Interestijg is the right word. My point is that i can understand the hurt of someone leaving. My last girlfriend hurt me really bad in the way she left a month and a half ago and honestly i just kinda pretend it didn’t hurt.

Sorry bout that tangent, i just wanted you to know I relate yo your pain, not to make it about me.

I’m sorry that your parents are sucky with that, I don’t like folks like that. People should be allowed to live, their choices that affect nobody negatively should be allowed to be made.

[fervent vapor]

yeah..

[bronze barn]

Also, random, but space is awesome. I know a little bit about it, but I’d love to learn more from someone who knows, we could totally be friends and relate in that way.

I’ll also be here for you in general if you need help :)

[fervent vapor]

they just expect EVERY guy to want to be "macho" and "masculine..

[bronze barn]

Ew

[fervent vapor]

sounds good.

[bronze barn]

Dislike

[fervent vapor]

funny thing is. I don't even know if I am a guy

[bronze barn]

There should be no single type of anyone

[fervent vapor]

I just use femboy as a lable

since, I don't know what I am

[bronze barn]

Which is fair, I get that

I just use pan as a label, I have pretty slight preference but like yeah idk

But anyways yeah

[fervent vapor]

well, we can be friends.

and you can check out my youtube channel if you want,

I only have like 315 subscribers but

[bronze barn]

You are perfectly fine the way you are, if someone doesn’t like that then the aren’t and weren’t for you. I’m sorry that they sucked in that regard.

[glacial spoke]

ive had the same experience as you. i had friends who left me. well i left them cos they were nasty. my ex dumped me randomly without saying why. its tough ik that, i get your pain. we're in this together! sadly its just a part of life that people come and go, we wish it couldnt happen but sometimes it just happens so i get ur pain

[fervent vapor]

yeah. but how do I move past this.

making new friends is hard.

[bronze barn]

Now I’m not assuming anything about you, just some general advice

Don’t ever let yourself get desperate and allow yourself to settle for someone, and take your time before you date, otherwise you get stuck in something with someone who you didn’t realize was something you don’t appreciate

[glacial spoke]

have you got much social life? like are you confident in school, work etc talking to new people

[fervent vapor]

I try to reach out on servers but barely anyone responds.

[bronze barn]

That’s how it is for me too, yeah.

[glacial spoke]

im the same. i try meet new people and most people just ignore

[fervent vapor]

I am very quiet at school, since the kids in my class are a lot less emotionally mature

[bronze barn]

Literally me

[fervent vapor]

and they talkk badly about femboys so..

[glacial spoke]

that makes sense ye i was a quiet kid in school too. i used to have a big friend group in school but when i left school they all left

[bronze barn]

Nobody is at my level of maturity yet and I’m just kinda here trying to have serious friendships and relationships while everyone else wants some one off, for-fun Bs

[glacial spoke]

real asf

[bronze barn]

Happens

People suck man

[fervent vapor]

so yeah, Irl? I don't really make friends

I only have one irl friend, because he is supportive

[glacial spoke]

i find it easier to make friends online. i trust them more than people irl tbh

[bronze barn]

Same. I have mostly online or out-of town friends

[fervent vapor]

same here. online you have a sense of security, they can't hurt you. or contact people you know

[bronze barn]

And the only person I talk to consistently won’t be speaking for a week because they’ll be busy so

[bronze barn]

I am more myself online than I’ll probably ever be irl

[glacial spoke]

see the thing is i met up with a online friend and it went badly but we'll save that for another day

[bronze barn]

How I act online is how I’d like to act irl but I simply cannot

[fervent vapor]

yeah. same here

[glacial spoke]

real

[fervent vapor]

because my parents are dicks... can't even go downstairs in a skirt without them saying "WhY dOn"t YoU wEaR tHe PaNtS i BoUgHt YoU?///!!!111!!"

[bronze barn]

:/

[fervent vapor]

i hate pants

[bronze barn]

Can’t do shit anymore anywhere

[fervent vapor]

its uncomfortable and restricting

[bronze barn]

I live in a red state that’s full of racist homophobic dickheads and so I can’t act the way I’d like to because they’d call me a slur and then beat the fuck out of me

So 🫩

[fervent vapor]

I live in the Netherlands.

[glacial spoke]

nah fr

[bronze barn]

No clue anything about the Netherlands

[fervent vapor]

everyone here is either conservative, a weirdo, or the small percentage of being a good person

[bronze barn]

Just know that anywhere in the states in the midsouth to south suck

No, just anywhere rural tbh

Cause even I’m the north there’s racists and homophobes in abundance

Anyways kinda off topic mb

I yap 😢

[glacial spoke]

everywhere is like that these days tbh

[bronze barn]

Yeah

[fervent vapor]

do you guys/gals/they thems play any games?

[bronze barn]

I play a couple, you play on steam?

[fervent vapor]

yup

[bronze barn]

I don’t mind to buy a game either to play with people

Unless it’s like, full price $60-$70

[fervent vapor]

i hate those

[bronze barn]

Then it’s something I gotta consider before I buy it lmao

[bronze barn]

Yeah AAA games are asinine

[fervent vapor]

I prefer indie

[bronze barn]

Indie and AA games are better

[fervent vapor]

or AA

[bronze barn]

I wish I could exclude artists for myself from playlists other people make

Like bro, no, I don’t wanna listen to Mcafferty the abuser dawg

Get bro out of here and stop giving him my money for playing it

Anyways

[bronze barn]

Yeah

What games do YOU play?

[fervent vapor]

sorry was gone for a bit, had to go to bathroom

[bronze barn]

No you’re fine

[fervent vapor]

wanna move over to DM's to not deal with slow mode?

[bronze barn]

Yes lol

[glacial spoke]

i play steam games and roblox. i love flight sim

[fervent vapor]

Okay, what about survival games? Or building games?

[glacial spoke]

i play a game called roadcraft which is about building roads and stuff i quite enjoy it

[fervent vapor]

Noice