I'm going into a spiral or depression

[earnest wyvern]

I'm going into a state of just 100% mental sadness, but I act happy. It absolutely kills me and I don't know what to do. It's because of a guy and every time he's happy with his someone it pisses me off. And I absolutely feel ||shit|| for being like that. I want to get out of this spiral and get over him but it's just hard to? I've talked myself into this false mindset that he likes me and is hiding it. But I tried to talk myself into one where he isn't into me and it made it worse. Help?
Ping for responses please

[twin phoenix]

I meant Spiral of depression in the title 😭

[earnest wyvern]

I meant Spiral of depression in the title 😭

[dense sorrel]

Hey. I just got out of a relationship and am going through the same thing. And what I do mostly is yes while i think of him I focus on my work as relationships. And i still wish I had him back but the thing is you just have to keep going. And things wont work out. In fact that mindset is imposter syndrome.
Make a bet with yourself.
and start looking around.
Find a hobby and something you love to do all the time. For me thats music. And I listen to things that remind me of him all the time but Im soo lost in the music that he's barely at the front of my mind. its just me, the music, the lyrics, and fun. I'll be singing in my room all alone and dancing when normally id be moping about and wanting to jump.

If that doesnt work. Then follow what I like to call the extreme emotion management system.
Acting kills me too but I have to lead people every day. So It's be mr Strong Man.
Dont let much into your life about him, other than him but ignore your feeling a bit. Re focus them onto something else and then sleep the night away. It can help. As at night after enough time its not gonna affect you. It may be on your mind but yeah, not as much.. right?
Dm me or ping me here if you need help or have questions. Im open almost 24/7 and have an open-door policy. Meaning I don't block anyone despite how bad things get.

While this isn't the best adive i could have given. I hope this helps.

[earnest wyvern]

I do this but I'm always around his. (Without choice). And I crave emotional/physical affection (sounds weird sorry). And that's also playing a part in this. And sadly we joke around and he satisfies those cravings. I try and try to drown him out with music or hobbies heck even just sleeping a lot. Doesn't work at all

[dense sorrel]

The touch is also a thing im going through. and saddly there aint much you can do. Just find a way to enjoy his company or find new company. Find a new friend and chat with them. That person alone can help beyond compare. Like I had that happen to me, and well, 5 months later that topic i talked about with that guy isn't even an issue anymore.

Feel free to add me if you wish. Like Its kinda hard to keep track of people for me if i dont add them or share a small server with them. Expecailly after i purge my DMs every month. But Just find someone you can talk to. or lean on.

We all carry a load, some heaver, some ligher, some soo heavy that it'd crush most others. I have the last one but I carry it like its nothing. Let someone take all the extra bull that you dont need. and let them help sort it out.

I'll keep you in my mind.

[earnest wyvern]

Thanks, I'll probably just end up having to ghost em. 🤦

[split ether]

Im going though the same thing. All my friends are gone because certain mods didn't like me irl and now I'm just alienated. I tried starting a discord. I wanted a family like that. I wanted people to love me. I wanted friends to love. Not like that but just REAL FRIENDS. All I've gotten is death threats and blackmail I've already had to call the police twice. I'm about to give up on the fandom and that was my identity.

[split ether]

Ive ghosted everybody who has participated in all this. It's not worth keeping them around. Throw them away just like they did you, and when they come crawling back or not, you tell them I already know who you really are, and that person disgusts me to my very core.