#Hmm,I'm debating on if I'm agender or not..

36 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

green umbra
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I'd like some help to clarify if I'm agender or not,I'm thinking I am based on some discomfort I have growing up,being in highschool,and I'd like to talk to someone about it to confirm it's true. I do know like two or three things I learned about myself this week and I'd appreciate it if I could have support and help

trail niche
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Hm, I can see, I know a lot about this stuff

green umbra
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Really? You do?

trail niche
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I mean, I have agender friends, and I’ve done my research, I’m a trans demiboy

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I’ll see what I can do for you

green umbra
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That's amazing

trail niche
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Yeah, ofc ^^ now, tell me a little more so I can help put the pieces together for you or be a helper in that at the very least

green umbra
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So...

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So,I learned that since I feel out of place with feminine terms and feel uncomfortable with my gender and stuff,I'm more comfortable with masculine and gender neutral terms. I also learned that whenever I wear dresses,I feel like I'm not a girl and just forced myself to be this posed "happy feminine woman by letting society expectations influence my identity

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I have one experience that made me realize all that

trail niche
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Hm, if you feel comfy with masc and neu terms, I have a follow up question: does the intensity of you feeling masculine fluctuate or is it more like partially masculine?

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Like one day you feel completely agender and the next masc?

green umbra
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When I was 16,me and alex(my ex boyfriend) went to a dance called winterball,and I remembered me and him taking pictures and he went to use the bathroom,and then he turned to me and said "I'll be right back,baby girl" and I didnt say anything after that and wasn't like happy with it. Yeah,but around that time,it hit me and I was very like iffy about it which is why I was barely talking with Alex at the time and he was asking me if I was okay,and I played it cool for him and acted like I was fine and happy,when I was miserable the whole night.

green umbra
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But,I'm also androgynous,a soft butch and I dream of wearing boy clothes

trail niche
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I see, well, with boyflux, which is a term that the intensity of your masculinity fluctuates, that could be the case. But with a term called Demiboy, you feel partially male, and partially non binary, usually going by He/They. I don’t know if that could fit, but I know a lot about Boyflux and Demiboy

green umbra
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I feel like agender suits me more. I belong in that category

trail niche
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Hm, alright, that sounds good!

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I hope I could help in some way, and if you need anything, just ping me, okay?

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My biggest advice is to follow your heart in what you feel about yourself, and don’t let others dictate your decision

green umbra
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What I'm trying to say is physically,it's masculine or androgynous,but the inside is agender

trail niche
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Yeah, gender expression and gender identity is different

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That’s an important thing to remember

green umbra
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What if we become friends and talk in DMs about it?

trail niche
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You could be a masc presenting agender person and that is completely valid and okay!

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Yeah ofc! I’m willing to do that

green umbra
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Yay

balmy gulch
green umbra
green umbra
balmy gulch
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What did I do?

balmy gulch
green umbra
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You didn't do anything

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I just got excited

balmy gulch
green umbra
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I wanted to be friends