jovial umbra
i miss my ex..
i broke up w him on October 26th, because if i didnt then I'd lwk probably die in that rs—it was kinda draining the life outta me, but before that.. i was the happiest ive ever been, with him:')
i broke up cz it seemed like i was no longer a priority, he chose his new friends over me, he simply didnt care about me anymore and whatsoever, it went to a point where we'd only talk if i text first
we'd go on not talking for days, I'd think "oh he's just busy", then send a random msg and he replies almost instantly where i js... he wasnt even busy so- ???
and he does keep on saying he is busy, guess i was just another victim to his "busy schedule"
when my classes started he was still my top priority, i loved him sm
yet when his started i was suddenly cast away, like i was just some old unimportant trash now that he had new people to be with
its as if i was actually just a casual summer fling, like he was only w me cz he was bored and needed smt to do
FUCKING AVOIDANT IN HD WITH AN EGO STROKING HIS OWN SELF CENTERED DICK
on my birthday, i posted exactly at 12 am on my story indicating that it was my bday, followed up by a cf story post (on insta) w my friends greeting me a happy bday
i made it so clear that it was my bday
he saw the story posts and even liked them
yet did i receive any text?? NO.
i waited and waited, from 12 am october 23 til 12 am october 24, NOTHING
and for his bday, i made smt for him, i drew him, i wrote a letter for him, all for him
my bday was js another lonely uncelebrated day, and his was cheerful and he was happy, celebrated and surprised, threw a party or wtv, i didnt get much details
and when i broke up, i first asked if he still loved me, and he said "atp, idek myself" ?!?!? wtf
and so i said i was breaking up—I WAS SO HESITANT, SHAKING, TEARING UP.. AND I PRESSED SEND.
and yet he was so quick to say okay
"okay, goodbye, you deserve better"
?!?!?!?!?
i also remember when he said he'd always notice everything, the small little things—but he never even noticed if i was upset or anyth anym, or maybe he js doesnt care that i was anym
i even tested him, i told him i made an advanced happy monthsary letter, and i sent it to him, he said he read it—but the letter i gave him was actually the monthsary letter i made him on our last monthsary, i js changed the numbers. turns out he was js...idek 🤧
fuckass bastard, there were signs everywhere yet i ignored them, i rlly wanted us to work out
he was all i wanted
"i let it go too long, i let you go too deep
now i know, now i know, now i know there's one thing i cant keep
but i, i keep on waiting, waiting to want you less than i do
and i do, oh, i do, yes i still do want you
but maybe its all on me for missin every sign and every glance and every turn
maybe theres somethin here for us to glean, for you to teach and me to try to learn
cause darlin you're the thief, but you were mine to earn
what if i came on too strong? what if i read this all wrong?
what if we just dont belong?
all this "what if? what if? what if? what if? what if? what if?"
"why? why? why? why? why? why?" makes me burn
oh, i dont think you meant to hurt me
cause i dont think it meant a thing at all (well, did it?)
no, not at all (didnt mean a goddamn thing)
at all, at all, at all
at all, at all, at all
at all, at all you..."
- All 2 U (Motherfucker)
me too stolas, me too 💔
torpid bloom
royal crag