fair cloud
||I was crying my eyes out last night because my mom was scolding me so hard dude. Im so insecure now because of her. She kept saying how ugly and disgusting I am. She wasn't even being a good mother anymore. She said that I'm old enough to take care of myself. And yet, shes still babying me and blames me for it.
She said Im ugly, disgusting, she knows im sensitive when I get my insecurities called out. She said I dont even care about myself, let alone my studies. WHY should I experience this type of parenting. Im only a minor. Only a child, still too young for her neglect.
She keeps comparing me to my cousin, she said he got a scholarship to Japan. She asked why can't I do it. Maybe because I dont have the opportunity to for now. Im too young for this shit... hello? Comparing me isnt gonna make me get motivation, it will just make me lose hope in myself because I cant do anything to make you proud.
I can't take this type of neglect. My freedom is almost gone dude. My eyes are tired. My whole body is. She keeps hitting me. Neglecting and abusing me. This isnt right. It never is. Destroying your child's mental health isnt 'good parenting' or whatever you call it. I feel like harming myself again, even if it isnt the right thig to do, art isnt making me feel better anymore, i need a better coping mechanism. I really wanna move out. I really wanna report to CPS or the Authority for child abuse and neglect. But i just cant find the courage to do it.
Im tired.||
solid current