Is There Something Wrong With Me?

[topaz lily]

So, I've always been extremely bad at sympathy.
I've always been extremely bad at regulation of my emotions.
I'm trying to get into criminology, and even when I listen to the most disturbing cases I don't feel anything.
I have a family member, and whenever I say "what" they automatically act like it's rude.
I have constant outbursts of anger when I'm overstimulated by constant talking.
I shake uncontrollably under certain conditions like being in front of a group of people, yet somehow I can do theatre performance just fine, so is it stage fright?
I don't know anymore
I feel like there's a lot of parts of me that are just apathetic towards everyone around me.
I have perfection issues all the time-
Maybe I just need a therapist or something
Maybe I just needed to vent a little :nso_spritekangel1_blink:

[topaz lily]

Maybe I'm not thinking straight
Idk
I haven't cleaned my bed sheets in a long time either and I keep waking up with welts from bugs or my skin is sensitive
I need to stop bedrotting hahaha

[velvet ivy]

ik how you feel i feel the exact same all the time i just try to not make it obivious i feel like theres something wrong with me 24/7 and everything you said even about now that whenever you say "What" It random apparently rude now yeah same with me... so ik how you feel i even sometime question why i exsist

[jaunty gale]

Hey… thanks for sharing all of that. It sounds like you’ve been noticing a lot about yourself and it’s a lot to process. Feeling apathetic sometimes, struggling with emotions, getting overstimulated, or having perfectionist tendencies doesn’t make you “bad”, it just shows that you’re dealing with a lot internally.

It also makes sense that some things trigger you differently, like shaking in front of people but being fine on stage. That could be related to stage confidence versus anxiety in other settings, and it’s okay to have those differences.

You’re right, talking to a therapist could help you make sense of all this and give you strategies to manage your emotions, perfectionism, and stress. Venting here is totally valid too, and I’m glad you did. You’re not alone in feeling like this, and asking for support is a strong step.