final carbon
Hey, so idk how to do this stuff, but ima try it…
Hi im Lusty, I was diagnosed with Juvenile Myoclonic Epilepsy..
Might not be bad like some people make it people like to joke about it, act like their having one… i was one of those…
I one day was at school, and blacked out later waking up on a stretcher being loaded into a ambulance, i dont remember anything that i did that day all I remember is the ambulance…
After that i just cant remember… life, its like all i did years ago the memories i made with family… the life i lived seems so…
Like i never had a beginning.. i hate it, always think that i did something wrong maybe God dis this to teach me a lesson…
I go to school then have people wishing i had another seizure teachers joking, kids joking, everyone joking, it hurts my head is just swirling with thoughts i cant control, it just starts with that, then i hurt myself
Then i had to go to a mental hospital and it was hell, like it was a dream like everything was a dream then to have a seizure again and be aware and awake during it
Watching your mom cry and cry and cry and cry watching as u just twitch un able to do anything but WATCH… it hurts so bad that u can reach out and tell them its ok ill be fine when its not
Im scared everyday that with how my memory has gotten ill forget about my family everyone i know and love, i cant remember anything from my childhood except those memories, of death burials, crying, cutting, just everything i hated just in there every thought i held with me as a kid vanished
Everything i did i cant remember i cant even remember anything i did the day before sometime i forget what i did seconds after i do it… im just so scared
I just feel if im alone where its quiet i wont hurt no one, no one will feel bad if they see have a seizure or something idk my head is just a mess, i just wanna kill myself sometimes but i just cant do it, i dont like seeing their faces cause its all lies the smiles are just fake… help.. please..
plush bramble