Feel bad even posting this but 🫩

[finite snow]

Cannot with the reminders of my absolute chronic partnerlessness, it’s depressing and after my ex broke up with I just can’t anymore.

She broke up with me after my first ever attempt when she knew I was in the psych ward and couldn’t respond. It took me a year to convince her to love me, and even then she barely did.

Then I see people with not one but MULTIPLE partners here and I just literally want to scream. It’s not your faults you’re better than me and can actually find a relationship, but god damn. Literally makes me wish shit went different when I ran in front of those cars and nobody hit me. To anyone who happened to be in the chat when I was being a downer about it, this isn’t about you, it’s a general rant and I just cannot take the loneliness anymore.

[ivory berry]

Hey :)

First of all, don't feel bad for expressing your emotions — you have the right to be happy and advocate for yourself when you aren't getting what you need.

Secondly, I know that having someone might be great to feel accepted, loved, and appreciated from someone in a romantic context. However, it also comes with a lot of additional responsibility and in my opinion, requires a lot of mental stability and strength to maintain a relationship.

In my experience, I have tried to find a partner for at least four years, and it was nothing but loneliness for the longest time. But when you find the right person, you'll know. You will find that person, I guarantee it. But until then, lean into the people you're close with—friends, family, and classmates—as they'll be the ones to support you in your lowest state and cheer you on during your highest.

I hope all goes well. But if you ever need help, be sure to reach out to a trusted adult, a crisis helpline, or go to the hospital. It would be a shame for you to end it all over a temporary problem, when there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

[finite snow]

“Temporary problem” yet I’m chronically lonely and anyone i think might love me brushes me off or worse 🫩

“Temporary problem” but my entire life I’ve been treated like shit, since the age of 4 I’ve been left alone to do everything by myself and grow up friendless and without guidance because my mom was so busy working to keep me fed and sheltered that she couldn’t spend proper time with me because when she got home she was so exhausted she couldn’t do anything but lie down and sleep

“Temporary problem” but my entire life has, in retrospect, been spent alone and likely will continue to be spent entirely alone

At least when I was 5 years old playing by myself in my room I didn’t realize how depressing it was for a 5 year old to be alone in his room all day and receive barely any social interaction

It’s probably why I’m an awkward and introverted piece of shit

Because know what? Yeah nobody ever talked to me through all of school

Nobody does to this day

So yeah

Shits not temporary and honestly if a car had hit me I wouldn’t be here to suffer through it another 60 years

And about the second thing

I really couldn’t give less of a shit the amount of effort that goes into a relationship

That’s not the issue and I’m entirely prepared for the trouble that comes with it

Because if I were ever given a chance in a relationship where i was genuinely loved, then the good would outweigh the bad

Nobody gives a fuck about me so I have nobody to lean on

My classmates told me I should’ve died when I attempted, I have no friends, and I see my family like 3 times a year