#I literally just want more friends

31 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

snow wave
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I just want more friends but I’m too fucking autistic to get any. Sometimes I wish my suicide attempts actually worked lol

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oh yeah I’m also failing in so many classes so yeah 💜🥹

off topic rant but there was this time where I made a joke to my grandmother (this was probably my fault) about the way she said “Temu” (she says it as Team-you) then she got really angry and started crying. I then got told to say sorry and I said sorry but looked at my phone while I said it, my mother got even angrier at me and then hit me on the arm which kind of hurt ngl, but I guess it was my fault since my grandmother was grieving the death of her father, aka my great-grandad. I guess I shouldn’t have made a joke like that. Then she told me I was just trying to “look cool in front of my cousin” (I wasn’t by the way I don’t know where the fuck my grandmother got this idea from), she started speaking over the top of me and didn’t let me speak, this was in front of my aunt and cousin.

My mother told me “she comes here to feel better, not worse!” which again- hurt, but you know.

I had to apologise to her six times. My mother blamed me for her not picking up her calls.

When I apologised to her over voice message, I was crying. When I finished, my mother said “That’s all?”. I don’t know what I did wrong in that message but it apparently wasn’t enough. My devices got taken away from me for 2-4 days. I got lectured by my brother for not telling the whole story even though I was panicking and sobbing. My mother again yelled at me.

I had to apologise to my grandmother again! She didn’t respond the first time and ignored it. She said she was glad I said sorry.

Nobody bothered on trying to tell me what I did wrong. So I’m left today still thinking about what else I did wrong. Why did nobody try to explain what else I did wrong. And that leads me to my point, I tried to commit suicide due to the argument between me and my grandmother. I’m just shocked at how none of the adults around me decided to explain what I did wrong in a calm manner before screaming at me.

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oh shit I didn’t think it was that long😭💔

novel pewter
novel pewter
snow wave
novel pewter
snow wave
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Nd whenever I do make a friend I say “I THINK they’re my friend”

novel pewter
novel pewter
snow wave
novel pewter
snow wave
novel pewter
snow wave
# novel pewter Yeah I get that tbh

I remember she said something about hating people who SH- and I just thought, “damn, so you hate me then?” (I don’t do it anymore by the way don’t be worried)

novel pewter
opal summitBOT
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I’ll have to talk about past experiences, which were traumatic, so I won’t be emotional here
I used to have three “friends”. I thought these were good, but they werent. They kept punching, screaming complaining, because I was “childish, an idiot and just weird”. It was rough times, rough enough for me to start scratching my skin daily and trying to die. It was pain. I luckily got through, and I’m very grateful for that. My life has improved drastically now and things are better. So please, no matter how rough it may be, please do not die. Things will get better, even if it seems VERY impossible right now.

snow wave
novel pewter
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Tbf I would bee too

snow wave
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I think it’s because one of our friends sent her… fresh pictures, if you know what I mean

novel pewter
snow wave
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That was my reaction too😭💔

novel pewter
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Ik what you mean and that is lowkey strange

snow wave
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Yeah and she unfortunately has scars all up her legs, it’s sad

novel pewter
novel pewter
snow wave
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Thank you so much

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You seem like a kind person!

novel pewter
novel pewter