Vent | Pridecord | Page 1

I'm so fucking done with my life, it's the same fucking cycle over and over and over and OVER AND OVER AGAIN. I'm so sick of it, therapy is meant to "help you" that's just fucking bullshit, i've been told to fucking wear a saftey pin necklace when i STILL attempt every single day. I'm in a relationship atm, but i don't know what the fuck i'm doing with my life right now at this fucking point, i've got a friend that i dated and still like him and he's got a girlfriend, like dude- why the fuck do i have to be played with over and over again. I have to much shit going on with my life, attempting, harming myself, getting more and more fucked up, i'm just so SICK OF IT. If i let out my true colours and bottled up anger everyone'd hate me, i can't think anymore, i'm so fucking numb. I look so fat, i look disgusting, i'm a monster. If anyone knew the shit i've done to get this messed up in the head, having BPD, being bipolar, having anorexia, also being schizophrenic and having so many more issues and shit FUCKS WITH ME SO FUCKING MUCH. i hate this body, i hate having to cover up my ugly scars, hate having to look at myself everyday, absolutely HATE BEING THE BACK-UP FRIEND AND HAVING TO HIDE MY TRUE SELF, HAVING TO HAVE A MASK, HAVE TO HAVE WALLS UP. I've been wondering if i should just end it. I'll never get the things i want, the "dream" guy i love so much. I hate being so fucked up. i'm so numb, i'm self-harming everyday to feel something, i just wanna kill myself. I hate that i have abandonment issues and attatchment issues, being clingy, being trapped, i'm not allowed to be myself without getting treated like absolute shit. Getting called these names i get called, being talked over, i just want to be myself for once without being bullied.
No one cares about me, no one cares that i'm there, i hate feeling so powerless, so weak, hate being controlled by everyone. does anyone really love me?

#Vent