jovial osprey
TW: suicide or something idfk
As a 14 year old, I’m always told, ‘enjoy these years, it gets worse’, which I’m inclined to believe. Almost every week is the same. School weeks: wake up at 7, get ready and to school, school til 3, where I disappoint literally everyone because they tell me I’m smart then I do shit on everything. School ends, walk home, waste away time playing games, watching shit and playing the same riffs on guitar because new shit is too hard and I get bored. At 11, go to bed, it takes ages to get to bed, so I play those same riffs on guitar until I think I’m tired. Repeat x5. Play games, watch shit, play guitar x2. Same shit, same shit, same shit. Nothing changes. Once a month this ain’t the same, but then it goes back to the same cycle, repetitively. 20 years from now I’m in a depressing job in a depressed state with less time off and even more stress. I’d want a boyfriend but that would probably make me more stressed. In short, there’s no fucking point in anything for me, the advice that I always get is the same shitty advice I always get, nothing changes. Nothing ever changes. To me there’s no point in life, there’s no goal. The goals are unachievable and there’s no point reaching for them. The politics won’t change, we’ll have a repetitive cycle of tories and reform. The advice won’t change, I can’t change and nothing fucking will. There’s no point, there’s no point in me even fucking writing this, I’ll just get the same advice I always do. I just need to vent I guess.