Help idk I'm very confused

[subtle harbor]

So I've been openly trans ftm with my bf and. A few friends for a few months now I think since before June and all are supportive but idk I know I'm still trans but I really like doing makeup and stuff like that I do gyaru, goth and other stuff but like I feel so invalid at times because I don't feel like I guess man enough but I don't wanna be a girl at all

[hybrid brook]

Hi

[subtle harbor]

Hi

[hybrid brook]

My bf’s Ftm and he still likes makeup

makeup’s a hobby, isn’t really associated with either gender

[subtle harbor]

I feel so invalid a lot of the time like what's the point of me calling myself a guy if I don't even look like one, and idk my dysphoria has been getting really bad especially since I can't get a binder or anything else and idk sometimes I feel like I wanna be a femboy then there I wanna be the complete opposite

[hybrid brook]

I call myself a girl and i don’t look close to one (yet)

I get it with dysphoria it probably won’t go away

Kylo, if you feel like a man, then you are one

Don’t think you looking feminine makes you “invalid” to be a girl

[subtle harbor]

Thank you a lot because like idk when I first got with my bf I still went by she her and sometimes idk I feel like I'm burdening him with my problems and like idk I'm just so confused and I feel like sometimes I wish I wasn't this way so things wouldn't be so complicated and I wouldn't always feel like this I wish I was born a boy

[hybrid brook]

If your bf thinks you’re a burden then he don’t deserve youuu

[subtle harbor]

He doesn't and he's told me hasn't multiple times but idk I think I keep getting in my head