I'm probably just overreacting but I just feel like my mom doesn't have the time for me.If I need to go somewhere I have to try to convince her and she'll just get super pissy about it or she'll say she has to take my brother somewhere or she was planning to go see my grandma.She says I never talk to anyone I live with but my dad is always upset,I'm scared of my brother or just find him annoying,and whenever I even try to talk to her she shuts me down so I just stay in my room.Everytime I talk to them I feel worse and whenever I tell her that she shuts me down and gets super defensive or she listens and just forgets.Every time I even try to talk to her she forgets.I feel like a burden to her.Whenever I try to hold a conversation with her she just goes on a rant about how she has so much to take care of with my grandma and my brother which I don't understand when my brother is a fucking adult.Sure there's certain factors that could contribute to it but he literally doesn't want to get help or he does I don't know it feels like it depends on the day.I understand how he feels but I fucking hate how he thinks and how he does stuff.He agitates me so bad I can't even look at him without wanting to rip off his fucking face after everything he put me and my parents through regardless of there being a obvious reason.My dad seems to be the only one who shares similar thoughts with me.Theres too much drama and it's just best to stay away from it.I feel like my mom keeps dragging me into her fucking business.We might move all together in the future just because my brother who is 22 FUCKING YEARS OLD wants to go somewhere that he likes.She can name a lot about my brother but when it comes to me she can't remember anything except the basics or she'll just ask about my body.She crushes me under pressure all the time and even
#Rant
lyric compass
when I say no to certain things she keeps trying to do them.She makes jokes out of things that affect me but if I get upset she'll just be pissed with me.I came out to her as nonbinary and told her my preferred name but if I remind her she will just get offended or say I'm being rude even if it never was my intention nor was it in my tone or way of speech.I had a talk with her about it and she burst into tears and said that she was being a horrible parent and I told her she wasn't and I was just trying to communicate me wanting to go by a different name since I wasn't as comfortable with the name I was given at birth.She continues to not use my preferred name and I gave up trying to tell her because she'll just shut me down