umbral raven
||Most of you don’t know me, so I’ll start by introducing myself, my name’s Rae. Right now, I identify as a cis man, but lately I’ve been deeply unhappy with that. I’ve never felt comfortable with the expectations or gender roles that come with being a man.
For a long time, I’ve questioned whether I might be transgender, because I’ve always felt disconnected from my body and from the version of myself that others seem to expect based on how I look.
What’s held me back, though, is fear; fear that transitioning might damage my relationships, especially with my girlfriend, who’s always been supportive of my self-discovery, but who I’m not sure could handle something like this. I also worry that I’ll never be seen or accepted as a “real” woman, that no matter what I do, I’ll still feel like I’m pretending, like I’m only coping through surgeries or hormones without ever reaching my “end goal,” if you will.
Not to mention from what I've seen, being trans is a political nightmare right now and I feel like, (leaving politics as much out of this as humanly possible) if I were to start this transition even slowly, in the state that I live in It'd be very looked down upon and I'd face retribution from my family or friends.
I'm sorry for this rant, I felt like I needed to get it off my chest. I don't expect a whole lot of replies seeing as this is likely a bunch of jibber jabber and gobbledygook.||
signal pebble
