Questioning identity and sexuality?? T-T

[knotty mantle]

So recently I've been thinking a lot on different things about myself like

• am i fully female?
  like am I really fully female (like i know im not a guy and im pretty sure im not gender neutral or non binary or any of those, but like idk something like demi girl maybe possibly??) idk cuz some of my mannerisms are more masculine and I dont feel the urge to put on makeup and wear dresses and act pretty (although when i do i like it), and I dont like to gossip, i feel like some of my poses are more masculine, and like sometimes when I sit i like to stretch out kinda like how ive seen guys do?? idk and my psych teacher keeps telling the class that girls like drama in a relationship (i know not everyone is alike so this is just stereotyping), ive never had a relationship before but I feel that I would only want like comfort, no drama. idk. i like going by she/her and being identified as female but idk maybe im not fully
• am i bi?
  recently ive noticed ive had a lot more....sexual(?) thoughts towards women but like my body doesnt react its more intrusive thoughts maybe? i cant tell if the thoughts are genuinely coming from me or are just intrusive thoughts from like too much social media or something. like i feel women being sexualized in media is normalized, and just sex in general, and ive been consuming a lot of media that has at least one aspect of sex in it recently. so yeah I dont know if im actually straight or not. i dont feel like I would be attracted to women, idk half of my friends are bi or lesbians and they're pretty (jokingly) freaky with each other, and i dunno i just couldnt imagine myself doing what they joke about
• am i asexual?
  to my knowledge ive never had sexual feelings towards someone else, only like "oooh he's hot" or stuff like that y'know? i dunno about romantic feelings because again i have never been in a relationship T-T but really do want a loving boyfriend who would support me and i could cuddle with. but anyways like even though (--)

(--) im very freaky (i make a lot of freaky jokes and i admit i do read yaoi smut), i just can not see myself actually having sex with someone. i like my privacy and idk i feel like sex would intrude against it (i mean duh but i mean like the cost outweighs the benefit or something like that) and yeah it just seems kinda nasty if its to me

and also with my first bullet point i also kinda like more masculine clothes, and im really in love with this emil sinclair wig (male; limbus company) and i dunno im looking into getting a wolf cut next summer or something close to it cuz like i just feel so much more confident with the wig

[willow blaze]

This is my opinion but from what your describing with your gender, I don't think it's what you wear and do, but rather what you feel inside. I had a friend who is a girl, she has never worn a dress in her life and she is very masculine, but she still qualifies herself as a female because that's what she feels inside

For your sexuality, I think you have to wait a while if this still happens. If you are still finding you are having these feelings, maybe you are bi. But it could also just be intrusive thoughts, or just your involvement with the 2SLGBTQPNIA+++ community, and seeing other bi people, so maybe thinking you're bi too.

For asexual, I also think you should sit a while, but to my knowledge you might be. You could also be too young to have these emotions but I don't know your age so I can't say anything about that

[gritty tiger]

I'm a masculine girl to

[desert nebula]

Yeah u can just be like a masculine girl I guess

And also abt the freaky jokes thing im gay but all my friends are straight and i make those typa jokes around them but i would never actually do those things

[fossil bough]

maybe biromantic and demisexual?

[knotty mantle]

thank you, that really helps clear it up :)

[knotty mantle]

i forgot to add that with one of my bi friends i dunno i often find myself thinking that she's thinking that im idk like cute or whatever, even though she has a girlfriend and has never shown in any way that she might like me. so like maybe im projecting or something..? and i like her but my mind is showing it as her liking me..?

[knotty mantle]

im 15
yeah i might be too young but i dunno a good third of my friends seem to have already engaged in some type of sexual activities or just express a curiosity towards trying it in the future, whereas I just have no interest whatsoever

thank you though your advice means a lot to me <33

[knotty mantle]

yeah i get that and i do understand a lotta the jokes are just that, but my friend did tell me she did get freaky with our other friend

but thank you for your advice too :3

[knotty mantle]

maybe yeah
i dunno im still young so ill probably figure some of this out when i finally get in a relationship
thank you :)

[willow blaze]

Some people take longer than others, so I suggest you wait for at least 1 more year before you turn 16. 16 is when you find most about yourself (imo). If you still don't feel anything at 16 you are probably Asexual.

[willow blaze]

Np I love helping others out!

[knotty mantle]

ohh ill keep this in mind thank you

[willow blaze]

Np :)

[gusty coyote]

Im fifteen as well, nearing 15 1/2 and I am Ace as well. Considering high school(mostly including mine) have a lot of students with ||sexual|| drives, its not "Too young" to not have one.

[knotty mantle]

yeah I just had my half birthday in October lol
thank you :3

[gusty coyote]

Not a problem!

[willow blaze]

Yeah I agree you can, but at the end of the day 15 is still young to have these feelings I'm saying maybe wait just a bit if you are not completely sure youself