silver swift
So, for the past 10 years (so since I was 15) my body has been givng issues.
It started with a stuffed nose that never left, followed up by inflamed ankles (gout).
Had my first full gout attack at 17 years old, where most people dont get gout until they are in their 40’s
Since 2017 I have been fighting doctors to figure out wtf is wrong with me.
And since 2020 I have been putting even more power into that.
The inflammation in my joints spread to my elbows, wrists, shoulders and knees.
Since 2024 I have been in a mobility scooter
I cant do the things I love anymore.
And that is making me very very depressed.
Now, a few months ago my reumatologist gave me prednisolone, which made me feel a lot better.
But then said “I dont wanna prescribe it for long use” so I was back at square one.
My GP and Reumatologist did agree on one thing however, feeling so much better on prednisolone indicates my cortisol is too low.
So they sent me to an endocrinologist
Yesterday I went there, to the hospital…
And the endocrinologist just, sent me away with “I see no indication as to why I should treat you”
And now my depression is spiraling out of control.
I feel too fucked up to work, too fucked up to get out of bed. Just, like I cant do anything.
The people around me are the only reason Im not offing myself rn because I dont wanna do that to them.
But I want to. I want to be rid of the pain. Rid of everything.
atomic stream
quiet shard