It's gotten to the point that my friends are tired of me venting to them for no particular reason
I am just making everything sucky for them
I shouldn't have even interacted with them at all
It's times like these where i just wish i would die soon
Despite the fact that i have friends and stuff
Despite the fact that i have a future
They'd be sorry sure but I'd actually be person only wish to be
Non interrupting
Not narcissistic
Not hypocritical
Not trying only 30%
Just something that has finally changed
I'm scared of changing
I'm too scared to do anything
Yet i leave the door open
Waiting for someone to rob it
I'm too much
I'm too little
I'm never right
Only crooked and that's all I'll ever be
#This isn't a poem
twin wharf
There's not much more reason to live my current life
Yet I'm too scared to make any actions
I'm just such a dumbass
tacit crystal
In my experience you seem to be a decent guy on discord
tacit crystal
Well at least you’ve got a purpose somewhere
twin wharf
Yeah but it just doesn't feel like enough
glossy pasture
Find yourself a purpose?
twin wharf
Yeah I've been seeming to try that for years but i never got nowhere
glossy pasture
Try and figure out smth you enjoy and make a lil Callender & cross off every day you've done smth you like
glossy pasture
Hm..
Well the first part when you said ur friend r tired of u venting, you could always vent to me?
twin wharf
Perhaps
glossy pasture
Well the first part when you said ur friend r tired of u venting, you could alwa...
Idm when ppl vent 2 me
twin wharf
I'm just more used to venting here
glossy pasture
Fair
twin wharf
And to my friends
Thing is I'm never bothering to change whatever i do to help whatever's wrong with me
Just being the same asshole every day
glossy pasture
Yk the calendar thing?
twin wharf
And I'm too much of a sissy to try anything new
glossy pasture
Yk the calendar thing?
Try to do the same thing but with self improvement/new rhings?
twin wharf
Maybe
I just don't know what to change and how to change it
glossy pasture
Maybe
I just don't know what to change and how to change it
Whats your main concern/"problem " w urself rn?
twin wharf
Whats your main concern/"problem " w urself rn?
There's multiple
First of all i can't think straight and i always try and say whatever i want and when i try to think about what i say before i say it then it's almost always too late
Second i can't stay consistent at all whether it be doing or saying or thinking
glossy pasture
So do you have trouble filtering what you say?
glossy pasture
Second i can't stay consistent at all whether it be doing or saying or thinking
You could try to keep one consistency a day, then after a month or so you could do 2 ect? Maybe find a way to reward yourself
glossy pasture
Either I'm too this or too that
You seem pretty alright to me from what I saw? Pretty good friend material yk
twin wharf
Yeah but irl i can't pay attention either
Always fucking distracted
Too busy procrastinating
glossy pasture
Oh
twin wharf
Always doing nothing productive until the very last minute
Ive wanted to do therapy for quite a while now but i always feel like a lab rat and i never get the chance to articulate whatever i say
glossy pasture
Therapy is pretty good, I think you should start it
twin wharf
Bc mostly all the times i have done it I've never made it consistent
It's always been only one short session and that's it
glossy pasture
Therapy is pretty good, I think you should start it
I've done it b4, helped me quite alot
twin wharf
I wish i was more into trying to find the right therapist but i just can't seem to with school and stuff
I have all the time i want yet i never make use of it
glossy pasture
You could fine a therapist that also does phone calls so even if you don't feel like going out/cant for any reason you u can call em?
twin wharf
You could fine a therapist that also does phone calls so even if you don't feel ...
I lowk want a more in person one instead of sitting behind a barrier throughout the entire thing
glossy pasture
Fair enough
twin wharf
Most of the time i keep asking what they said because of the quality and i can't even figure out most things irl either
Btw have you read my previous vents
glossy pasture
Most of the time i keep asking what they said because of the quality and i can't...
You can ask them to write them down (irl) and take them home to look over?
glossy pasture
Btw have you read my previous vents
No, I don't usually look in the vent things
twin wharf
glossy pasture
Alright, Ill have a read
twin wharf
glossy pasture
Oh
glossy pasture
And yet another https://discord.com/channels/1077258761443483708/143115731679052...
Off topic but that's a rlly good song thing
I would recommend speaking to a therapist and trying to make a schedule