agile sky
I've just been feeling really shitty lately, especially with my dysphoria and all. I usually go rollerblading every Friday, which is like a little break from everything for me each week, and since it's Halloween, they closed early. And I was already feeling down so that didn't really help. Also, I don't really remember when I started, but at some during this year I began self harm. Not because I felt bad or anything, I just kind of.. did it. I think I was lying in bed and didn't know what to do, so I started scratching my skin with my pencil until it "bled", sort of. I do this every so often. Sometimes it'll be just out of boredom. But other times I'll do it discretely at school. I remember in Spanish class after my teacher had taken my book from me when I was trying to do homework in class for another class, I was already feeling shitty that day, so I just kind of started scratching my skin with my pencil again. Currently I do have a few scars, some on my arms, some on my legs, and some recent cuts that I'm sure will become scars eventually. The weird thing is, I don't feel bad about doing it. It's kind of similar to biting my nails or picking at skin to me. I dunno. I guess I just wanted to rant about that, since I can't exactly talk to people about that in real life. Anyways, I think that's about it right now. I don't really feel like talking about my dysphoria right now, since that's definitely something that I could go into a lot more depth in right now, and I just don't have the energy to do that.
thin leaf