pliant mirage
everything is so incredibly fucked right now. my uncle had a heart attack a couple of days ago and had open heart surgery. he hasn't woken up and they don't know if he's going to survive. american politics are stressing me the fuck out, since as of right now my family will not be receiving food stamps for November (or anytime in the foreseeable future) due to the government shutdown. we can barely afford our bills as it is as a family of 6 people and a dog living in a trailer, and now the money (that was hardly enough anyway) that came from food stamps is no longer available and nobody in our household works or has extra money available. and my academics are falling behind as my depression and general stress gets worse and the crumbling of my academics is only stressing me out more. my physical health is crumbling and my undiagnosed disabilities are just getting worse but i don't have insurance right now so i can't go to the doctor, and shit that i've already been to the doctor for is becoming a problem again and i'm back to square one health wise and honestly some shit that i'm dealing with have the potential to be serious health issues but i can't get into a doctor to try and figure it out. and i miss my friends so much but i'm never allowed to leave the house except to go to school and i just want to be a part of life but my parents refuse to let me despite me being a fucking adult (and it's been worse because i haven't had a phone for about 4 months and they REFUSE to let me go out with anyone without a phone, but they also refuse to get me a new phone). and i'm starting to really fucking hate myself because despite all of the healing i tried to go through, i somehow am DAILY discovering ways that i am still severely fucked up from an abusive relationship i was in some months ago. and i hate that someone in my past still has a fucking chokehold on my mind. ANYWAY life is fucking terrible and i lowkey wanna kms but i suppose i will resume being all positive and cheery now :D
prisma ivy
dusky scaffold