I think I should just end it

[turbid niche]

I have autism and possibly borderline personality disorder. My family does not want me to pursue my dream of being a journalist and they are also mildly homophobic. Im thinking of buying or finding a rope soon.

[cerulean dew]

well, your parents arent the ones who choose what you will be doing in the future, so just ignore that one (i have the same with my parents about me wanting to join the military), and for the homofobic part, do they know youre not straight?? and don't buy a rope, it aint worth it, and i say this as someone who has thought about it myself too, and cutt himself a couple times, it just aint worth it ending it early, maybe something will happen soon that will make your live a lot better

[turbid niche]

They are not aware of that Im not straight

[cerulean dew]

Just hide it for them till you can move out

I just have the luck of getting (too) supporting parents

But if you feeling real down, try to talk to someone close to you you can trust for the full 100%

[turbid niche]

Sure

and Im getting a diagnosis in December for possible BPD or psychosis

So my problems might improve

[turbid niche]

Thing is I dont have anyone close to me irl and my only irl friends are my toys

[meager aspen]

If u wanna talk about... Idk random things I'm gonna be here... I don't think I will be the one u can get the most "help" from... But I will be ur friend... I have autism too (though mild) and I wanna talk with people because... FRIENDS IS FUCKING SHITTY... They leave all the time

[turbid niche]

My mood issues have gotten worse since last year

Also I have rather bad nighttime hallucinations and thoughts of harming myself and others

[sly fiber]

I'm also here if you want to talk. I may have never experienced sh myself, but I am incredibly empathetic and I can provide some nice advice. (also I know some games that keep me away from those kinds of thoughts if you're into that ;) )

i also have ADHD and undiagnosed autism

[turbid niche]

My problems have worsened ever since something bad happened to me and someone I really cared about

I just need to make it to December and get diagnosed plus medicated

[sly fiber]

I believe in you. my DM's are open if you need to talk.

[turbid niche]

Well Im going to do extra curricular activities that calm me

[sly fiber]

that's a great idea. Distracting yourself can be a great way to calm down and stay away from those kinds of thoughts.

[meager aspen]

@turbid niche Can I dm u???

Just speak with u a bit?

[cerulean dew]

There are plenty of people in this server that have open dm's, so you could talk with one of them maybe??

[turbid niche]

Sure

[meager aspen]

I sent friend thingy now

[turbid niche]

Can dm now

[turbid niche]

My mental problem made some improvements today when I took apart a lego set and started building it plus I also started working on a puzzle

[cerulean dew]

Legos is for sure the best solution, especially in the big numbers

[half dune]

Which lego set?

[turbid niche]

An old Ninjago set on my shelf

[half dune]

Do you mind describing it?

[turbid niche]

Its the Garmatron set (Idk if Im spelling it right)

[half dune]

Looks cool (I had to Google it)

[cerulean dew]

Nice, i love lego ninjago, i have 2 full shelves with it, and so much i now have legos on my floor, it really helps to distract you from something once your in it

[turbid niche]

My family finally agreed I can pursue my dreams of being a journalist after a talk (they had me book a meeting with my academic adviser and the possibility of taking journalism related courses in the summer next year)

I feel way better now and I just need to make it to December