rigid sentinel
My gf is really really sweet and all… I really love her. We started dating a few days ago, but we’ve known each other over a year. I really miss her rn because she had bible study and now she has to study study for a test next week.
Anyways, that’s kinda why I’m sad. But also, I feel like a weirdo. I obsess over her, I have for a few months. I think of her a lot. I think shes in my head more than anything else tbh. I think of her constantly. I think of her at school, I think of her when I eat, I think of her before I fall asleep. I feel like a creep. I doubt she obsesses over me like I obsess over her.
I think it’s unhealthy. Then again, I’ve never really loved anyone like this, so maybe it’s normal. Maybe people think of their partners super often. Idk.
Then there’s the fact that when she’s around, I’m always looking at her. I like to just look at her. At her face, as her hands, at what she’s fiddling with because she has some serious fidgeting problems, lol.
I think I’m creepy for it… I don’t think I should look at her all that much. But I do. It’s not like I stare, I’m aware I’m a creep, I’m aware that I’m weird for looking at her all the time, so I just avert my eyes every now and then. She looks back, and I’m so bad at telling if it’s because she likes to look at me too (unlikely, I’m unsightly as all hell…) or because she’s trying to tell me to stop staring at her. Idk. I feel like an idiot and a creep.