bronze whale
i’m tired.
i just got accused of faking osdd (how would one even go about doing that and WHY would anyone go around doing that) cause i posted art me and another headmate made of our collective sona.
i’ve already been stuck in front for 200+ hours and i don’t wannna deal with this
do the 2+ years of research and 6-8+ years if therapy mean nothing??
do the constant phantom wings and tails mean nithing because all of us are just faking it?
it’s not one quick google search of ‘oh this seems interesting ima apply it to myself’ it’s mire like ‘oh look at this disorder it sounds kind of familiar to me. i should do more research and see if stuff lines up more, then bring it to a qualified professional!’
we don’t have a qualified psychologist, we just have our therapist who’s awesome ig but.. yeah.
medical sexism sucks man.
i don’t even remember anything before 2022. i don’t remember much before last week. i don’t remember much in general.
i have to (and still have to) spend HOURS calming down one of my headmates because they spiral a shit ton
they won’t even front anymore because of the harassment
i don’t think i’m doing a very good job
i don’t feel very useful
maybe i should just vanish
i don’t know.
i tried to convince myself i’m not crazy for years
now i might be
i don’t know.
i just… feel like giving up.
-Jericho/Crowne
living isn’t worth it anymore
real egret