Overwhelmed.

[blissful gulch]

I feel like a weight is on my shoulders right now and it keeps getting heavier. I'm not sure what to do and I don't know how to fix myself.

School: It was fine until I kinda lost motivation to do work and it all piled up. Now I have to get it done in order to do my school's e-sports events happening soon. I don't understand my science and history material, my english work is okay but the creative writing parts suck because my brain shuts down when I'm forced to think of a topic to write about. Math is actually better than previous mentioned subjects, it's just that I'm a bit slow when it comes to it and need more time to work, but the teacher assigns new work daily, having it due two days later. I've been staying up to do homework but it's been taking a toll on me.

Self-Identity: I've been struggling with who I am, recently figuring out that I'm actually Bisexual and a Furry. I'm staying closeted for now because kids at my school tend to bully anyone who isn't in sports or isn't popular on some way. I also fear about my parent's approval, how would they act if they found out their generally smart but quiet 16 year old was a furry? I mean, my dad has a friend who's a furry, no idea if he still talks to them. My mom said she was okay with it but she thought it was weird. What am I supposed to say when my mom thinks it's weird?

Restrictions: My dad heavily monitors what I do online and at home. Limited phone time between 5am and 9pm, force locking it at bedtime but allowing certain apps (All Google apps that are productive.) and emergency services just in case something happens. I'm only allowed to have Xbox playtime if my chores are done and I have good grades, which only 1-of-2 have been met this month, so I haven't been able to play online recently. My dad blocked a bunch of apps that we're considered fun because my grades are bad as of now.

Siblings: I feel super distant from my younger brother and older sister because I don't know their interests and triggers.

[blissful gulch]

Sleep: I haven't been sleeping well recently due to a mix of homework, paranoia and anxiety. I feel tired but don't want to lose precious time to finish my work and try to improve myself, in a way.

Unmotivated: Everything and everyone around me just feels like another burden that's making me super slow and very unmotivated. Don't want to clean my room, don't want to do my chores, don't want to do my homework, don't want to talk to anybody I feel like I trust.

Dad: I guess me and my dad are on a tug-of-war relationship, he cares about me but in a different way, which makes me think he hates me for no reason. He tries to help but it's always expressed with agitation and disappointment. No, he isn't abusive, just very straightforward and strict.

Work: I try to find way to earn a bit of cash here and there but recent inflation and tarrifs are making it harder to have my parents offer a few bucks for when I do extra chores around the house. I always want something but I can never get the money needed. I wish our previous presidents hadn't messed up our economy, or else I would be actually happy right now.

[abstract knoll]

You're so good at writing and you described how you feel and why you are feeling that way so well. Your writing is very good so I'm sure you did well in school at one point, potentially even liked it. You are allowed to have google apps that are productive, maybe you should try to questify your chore list using an app like finch.

Is there someone you would like to start?

[blissful gulch]

Elaborate?

[abstract knoll]

Nevermind, I don't need to, I'll respond to one of your paragraphs at a time!

[blissful gulch]

Right...

[abstract knoll]

School: You have a lot on your plate, so it makes sense that you feel overwhelmed and drained. If you are struggling with your assignments I don't mind being a resource you reach out to on discord to talk through some of the topics or give you some ideas that are easier for you to write or think about. I felt slower than other kids whenever I was in school too. I also know a few apps or study methods that you might be able to pick up from me to add to your toolbox.

Identity: At 16 years old you are very dependant on your parents, if you don't feel safe then you need to find safe people and spaces that arent going to take advantage of you. You don't have to rush to tell people if you don't feel ready. Sometimes parents need a lot of time to learn and grace too, but I know how hard it is to feel out of place. You deserve to be accepted for who you are and comfortable in your expression. I

I'm a dad and my worst fear is that people will look at my sons and push their value and beliefs on them in a way that limits their freedom. I don't wanna suggest you dive head first in that enviroment because if your parents aren't familiar with furry culture, theirs an unfairness in how their first reaction could go, "weird" often means unfamiliar and not unacceptable.

Do you want me to continue or give you space?

[blissful gulch]

No no, keep going- im just busy with school right now

[abstract knoll]

I understand, I just didn't want to overwhelm you. I'm busy too cooking for my family

[blissful gulch]

Ah, understandable.

[abstract knoll]

Restrictions: That sounds very tough, you have a lot of stressors from school and whenever you get home. you wish to have leisure. Your dad is strict because the world is a confusing place for older people right now. That doesn't mean your desire for human connection isn't valid but it might mean you need to try finding small ways to recharge, writing, drawing, or even just talking to people online can be good outlets. You got to build a strong lifestyle one step at a time to get over this difficult years. When it feels like it too much, like it was before posting this, it's really important that you reach out to people! You did great.

Siblings: You can start off super small! Even if people believe you to be a certain way because that's how they know you, I believe it is never too late to change! You are in a strong season for change too so thats to be expected. Set goals (look up the finch app and ask me about it later) Set goals so that you might challenge yourself to learn another thing about each of your siblings. I also have reading material I can search for you on communication and building healthy relationships. Ask me any questions you have!