Breakdown

[queen umbra]

Lately, i have been having a bad time with my mental health. Last Wednesday, I was feeling so much built up stress that I had a panic attack/meltdown (cant differ yet, its mainly personal). What i was stressing over ended up being okay, and I was given a lot of help. But ever since that breakdown, I think I've been having a full on depressive episode/ nervous breakdown. Its been hard to get out of bed, I've had headaches, I've been disoriented with the world, nothing seems real or things feel too real. I havent felt like im fully here, while I may be laughing and joking, I feel like I am falling apart inside and I cant even find what's missing. I want to cry, but the tears wont come out, if they do　, i have to squeeze my eyes and only then 2 or 3 come out. I wish I could understand what's going on. And the thoughts of death
...
Theyre normal for these types of episodes I have, but the thoughts of being dead and free, I cant help but feel relief. Id rather be gone than have to go through this anymore. The end of the road only seems to get closer with each episode I have...

[undone pulsar]

Hey, don’t give up, even if you’re going through a rough patch now, that’s no reason to throw it all away.
Also, I’d recommend maybe some kind of breathing or calming exercise.

[misty quartz]

It'll be alright... try and keep your mind clear, if you do have any bad thoughts, try to block them out... if you can't, I know it's not healthy but grow your nails just slightly and poke your palm while taking deep, slow breaths... if you ever feel down, call someone, talk to someone, or just clear your mind and keep your space... do what will make you happy, no matter others thoughts or anything like that... keep your mind clear, and try to find love within yourself to yourself.

[undone pulsar]

Yeah, what this guy said

[misty quartz]

🐬

[queen umbra]

Thank you both. It means a lot. Maybe I can gravitate myself again

[misty quartz]

I hope you do, but don't force yourself into believing you're okay, make sure you're genuinely happy.

[undone pulsar]

Of course! Also, if you’re ever feeling down, if you wanna, you can dm me

[queen umbra]

Thanks
Its especially hard with school, my father has told me that I am the only one in the house who is so dramatic about my issues

He says I victimize myself for my meltdowns and attacks

Its hard to not believe him because he has MDD and GAD himself, even Bipolar 2

[misty quartz]

What I found best is have yourself a single friend you can talk to, set yourself at a good pace to talk about your mental health, and set a good system of calming your mind

[undone pulsar]

Hey, don’t let him get to you.

[queen umbra]

Well, I do talk to him a lot, but I feel like my brain is trying to reject any help and its taking the help as an attack or threat to be controlled