#I need advice

10 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

crude parcel
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Trigger warning self harm, internalized bigotry against queer people, internalized ableism, suicide, minor mention of racism, and excessive cursing.
I beat the everloving shit out of myself in my head. What I mean by this is I talk so obscenely negatively to myself. I hate myself I’m not a really good person. Just now I made a minor fuckup on another server where I accidentally made myself look like a horrendous bigot and racist. I only got a warning because it was a dm to the mods but even a warning puts me on edge I already got banned out of one server because my memes were too edgy and I hate myself.
My mental voices (not physically heard, I am not schizophrenic) tell me horrible things one of them constantly tells me to kill myself anytime I do even a little wrong. Then I try to hurt myself but I’m too chickenshit. I just don’t like myself I also think I’m an attention hog because I’m agender. I am perfectly fine and content with being referred to as a guy by my parents but instead I just need a little more special when I’m already autistic, depressed, and have ADHD.
I’m an awful person I don’t care for anybody but myself and even myself I hate.

loud vine
crude parcel
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I’m also not as stressed now you’re late to the party.
Thanks but your help is no longer needed

loud vine
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whatever you feel on the inside is only a fraction of the pain I inflict on myself everyday not to put your problems down or anything

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The difference between you and I

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is that I keep it to myself and use it as motivation to become a better man like coal to a fire

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You can either let those voices and thoughts control you to do whats worse for yourself

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Or you can let them motivate you to build a better future

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the steering wheel to your life is in your hands not the car radio