I previously wrote this somewhere else and just want to write it here just incase it helps
quick vent need to get shit out rn
I feel like shit. ever since I knew I was trans my mental health keeps declining because I keep overthinking like what people think of me what I should do and like what affirming care I might get. I know I want to get estrogen and maybe bottom surgery but idk about anything else I feel like I'm overthinking things and I just wanna be able to slow down and stop thinking for a while, last time I was able to stop thinking was 2 weeks ago and I desperately wanna stop thinking again but my body won't let me. I barely understand half the terms they use when I study up on bottom surgery and other stuff. Everytime I look in a mirror there's 2 results, "oh god I look like that? I fucking hate it" or "I want to kill myself oh my god" and I can't take it anymore I don't wanna die but sometimes I wonder if it'll be better if I was just, gone