shy peak
I can't breathe, I've been bawling and I haven't stopped.
My now ex best friend and I had been fighting for the past week. I felt ignored by her and she wasn't listening to anything I had to say. I got mad, and I went offline for a few days. The day I came back (today), she told me she's ending our friendship.
I panicked and started begging her not to go. She was the only friend I have and now that she's gone I have nobody. I even said something I really regret saying (I told her I'd probably just commit suicide without her, since she was the only reason I haven't yet. It was really shitty and I regret it, but I can't change it now.)
She told me she would only "hurt me more" and that she'd "just use me". I told her that I don't care. And it's true, I'm more than happy being manipulated if it means she'll stay. She told me she'd been lying to me about things this whole time, I didn't ask for specifics nor do I want to. Ignorance is bliss.
I managed to convince her to at least check in on me every month, since she said she didn't want our friendship to end permanently.
This just happened and I'm typing this so I don't go get my blades or something.
But now I'm forced to confront the truth that I have no friends, nobody close to me, and no comfort. I'm more alone then I have been in years.
valid slate
frank hull