I've changed

[rocky hearth]

I don't want a relationship anymore because im scared of the idea of disappointing people, and I have to hide behind a mask what is slowly breaking. I can't even talk to people normally because I think they will comment on my size, that's because of years of bullying. And I'm scared to even talk to my school friends or people I know in general

[fallow harbor]

thats relatable in a way.

why would you be scared of dissapointing people? are you even afraid that people dissapoints you? your not alone on hiding behind a mask just to fit in and shit, been there and many more people can relate i guess, well at this point i learned how to not give a fuck to whatever people thinks of me and etc, thats why im slowly getting back up on my ass. and what do you mean by size? as in weight or something? being scared to interact with people in general now so relatable asf lmao, self esteem lowered back to 0 theres non left to even interact smoothly, that feeling when you can sense shit its so ass.

try not to give a fuck about much, since im sure thats what the other people would do as well.

being too concious about it just gonna make you overthink till anxiety blows you off.

everything has a reason, everything has its own outcomes, dont be afraid be only when the outcome is there but dont worry since solving it is a choice.

problems always has a choice, if it did dissapoint them just say sorry and fix it in a way or something, instead of retreating and isolating yourself there.

[meager inlet]

You feeling that way is a completely normal feeling and there are a lot of people who also feel the same or similar to how you feel. If you are blaming yourself, don’t. Because it’s not your fault. Feeling scared to disappoint others is how most people feel with certain people, and others feel that way with everyone. I have that same fear you do. I try to run away because I feel like I’m not good enough for anyone and I’m scared to hurt and disappoint people. You are going through a lack of self love is what I’m getting at, and that’s extremely common from people who have been bullied. It’s okay to be scared to talk to people about it, anyone in your shoes would feel the same way. If you want to talk to someone about this, write it down, you don’t always have to use your voice to tell people how you feel. Just like you did here. If you need anything I’m here

[rocky hearth]

thx

[meager inlet]

I’ve also put up a ton of masks. I also get crap about my size. I just wish people didn’t get judged off their size.

[rocky hearth]

update, I can’t feel sad right now? I feel like anything what happens, happens and I cant cey bc i lost someone today but I don’t feels sad or anything about it and it’s just there

[gritty walrus]

u should never give up on a relationship or on anything 🙁

[fallow harbor]

So you don't feel anything after losing someone, relatable. But I guess that's the way our brain works most of the time.

Also, do you mean that lost someone as in the minor way or the major way? Like just someone who left or someone who died? If it's the major one then I'm sorry to hear that, condolences.

[rocky hearth]

Died

My taxi driver

[fallow harbor]

Condolences.

[rocky hearth]

Nah dw he did suicide but I knew him well so it hurts even more

[fallow harbor]

Knowing it's a suicide makes it much worse, oh my.. Well, there's things in life that simply aren't in our control and it sucks that sometimes we can't do anything about it.. but oh well, that does hurt and I'm sorry to hear that mate.

[rocky hearth]

Dw it happens and it's messing with my situation with food

[fallow harbor]

Wym?

[rocky hearth]

Idk i have been eating less and been refusing food sometimes when I really need to eat

[meager inlet]

I do that too tbh