Another day another problem

[winter fossil]

I am really going to be crazy in this whole family. I want to end it so bad. I CAN'T EVEN SAY OR GIVE OPINION ON ANYTHING, WHEN CAN I LEAVE ALL OF THIS??? PLEASE. I am staying not because i want to BUT ITS BECAUSE I HAVE TO. They provide me but all of their act is hurting me. I AM NOT EVEN SURE DO THEY REALLY DID THIS BECAUSE THEY LOVE ME OR BECAUSE THEY JUST LIKE SEEING ME LIKE THIS??

WHEN I CRY THEY.. THEY NEVER COMFORT ME, They only make fun of me. I almost had a competition and need a stable mental to do it. BUT WHY THEY'RE BEING LIKE THIS WHEN IM SO TIRED WHEN IM SO DRAINED, WHY EVEN WHEN I SAY I WANTED TO JOIN THIS COMPETITION THEY UNDERESTIMATE ME.. am i really a failure in their eyes?? Should i really end myself??

I am writing this while crying in silence. My parents is outside they will come back soon, I HAVE TO ACT LIKE THERE'S NOTHING HAPPEN TO ME . They HATE it so much when i cry, why am i such a cry baby??

I have no one to say about my feeling other then this server, everyone have their problem so even when they say their okay when i am venting it just feels weird and bad or something.. Idk

Also im going to be so SO dead if my parents found out i type shit like this or vent to someone. They check all my social media, unless discord. So if they found out IM SO DEAD

A little story, when i first tell my teacher at 1st grade of elementary school about the beating i got from my parents. The teacher talk about it to my parents. AND YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPEN?? THEY BEAT ME MORE and they're so genius they beat me in place no one could see unless they rolled up my clothes

[prisma anvil]

this is dead serious, and you probably know. the cps (child protective services) should be contacted as soon as possible. search up the number if you can. do you have any non-abusive relatives you can call? we need to get you into a safer environment. no parent should treat their child like that. if you're ever in acute danger, don't hesitate to call the police (if even possible, i obviously don't know your exact circumstances).

[winter fossil]

Idk if they'll really beat me bad enough rn. They used to be so cruel you could say, but right now they only hurt me with word like gashlighting and something like that

For safer relatives.. I don't think i can find one. All my relatives thought my parents is kind and only protective to me, they never knew the abusive side or what i have been throught

[prisma anvil]

any kind of beating up is bad. it's illegal and would never happen in a safe or healthy family. please don't invalidate any of your issues.

[winter fossil]

I used to have a safe place. My grandma house, but she already died in 2022 so 😔

[winter fossil]

I didn't knew that kind of things is also bad and can be report to police, thanks for the information

[prisma anvil]

i'm so sorry for your loss. i hope and believe that you will be able to find a safe place again in the future. you can and will make it. i'm here for you, and if there ever is anything specific i can do, just feel free to let me know.

[winter fossil]

Yes, thank you very much. I am actually planning to get job after i finish high shool so i could actually run away from my household

[prisma anvil]

that sounds like a great idea! i wish you the best of luck.

[winter fossil]

🤍 thanks for the support, it means a lot for me. :)