#my parents went through my phone and found out im gay

44 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

west nimbus
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so as the title reads, my parents decided to go through my phone and found out that im gay and had a crush on my best friend (who they didnt even know was my friend)...

They banned me from talking to him ever again in person or online, and im homeschooled and cant leave the house, and they put parental controls on my stuff so i literally cant contact him. he was my friend for 3 years and we talked every day and now its been 4 weeks and i havent talked to him.

Im not sure what to do?

hot hazel
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I'm not sure if that's legal, lemme go check

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okay, so after like two seconds of research, I have a few questions:

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  1. is this a friend irl, or just online?
  2. do you know how close this person is to you, if so, are they close enough to walk or bike there?
  3. how old are you, and what's the legal adulthood age in your state?
hot hazel
# hot hazel 1. is this a friend irl, or just online? 2. do you know how close this person is...
  1. If you know this friend irl, and/or this person is very close to your house, your parents can't prevent you from talking to them irl or going to their house to talk with them
  2. if you are not a minor in your state, not only can your parents not prevent you from talking to them, but they also can't search your phone at all, meaning you could already (hypothetically) sue them, because yes, you can sue your parents
neat jasper
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I don’t really have a say on this one, as I never came out to my parents and only friends, but I almost got outed when I was bullied last year.

Fortunately, my parents were pretty supportive, but as I can see, for you, that’s not the case, and I think I have some ideas in mind.

Do you have any siblings or other relatives? If you have siblings or relatives that live with you, maybe you can ask them for help. And can you try to call someone without your parents knowing? Like, your aunt or something? I don’t know, I’m just trying to help.

west nimbus
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well im 15 so they kinda can until im 18

west nimbus
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and relatives are also homophobic

neat jasper
west nimbus
indigo dawn
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This is so messed up 😭

west nimbus
indigo dawn
west nimbus
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normal therapist

hot hazel
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was your phone a present to you through an event?

indigo dawn
west nimbus
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i paid $450 of it and asked my dad if he could pay the other $50 cuz i aint got a job and he did

hot hazel
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well, since you paid for most of it, you could be considered an owner of the phone, meaning not only can your mom not do anything with your phone, your dad also needs permission

west nimbus
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i have no way to stop them and its not like police or someone would take me seriously

hot hazel
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in the USA you can legally sue your parents

west nimbus
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over just a phone

hot hazel
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your parents are forcing you to stay inside all day and homeschool, you, you now have no social life, the person you had a crush on is now gone from your life, you can't talk to any of your friends, and you still think the problem is "just a phone?"

indigo dawn
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Can you talk to him on Discord since you're able to talk here

west nimbus
indigo dawn
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Oh

ivory monolith
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Maby you could contact him indirectly through discord

hot hazel
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wait, which parent even searched your phone?

west nimbus
west nimbus
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and he aint got a phone or pc (neither do I, im using my brothers laptop rn)

hot hazel
# west nimbus both

wait, if you paid for most of the phone, doesn't that mean that your dad would legally need permission to put anything on there? such as parental controls?

west nimbus
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he paid for the rest, and the phone bill

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so not really

hot hazel
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your dad still needs permission to add anything to that phone, it's how co-owning something works, a symbiotic relationship, it was technically legal for your dad to search the phone, as he is a partial owner, but he can't put anything on there without your permission

west nimbus
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i havent physically seen it in 2 months

hot hazel
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that's... unfortunately legal