So I had a Headspace (a mental health thing in Australia,you can receive therapy, counselling or wtvr ) they told my mum (they informed me they would be telling her) but I have to give my mum my sharp things(I am not doing that.) I'm being forced to eat. My mama has to watch the medication cuz I'm not trusted?
They brought up how I had plans to kill myself a little while ago. How I self harmed recently. How I haven't been eating and how I've been purging then binging. (Making myself sick is purging then binging is overeating)
Yes I'm happy I'm receiving help finally but what good is forcing me to eat gonna do? It's gonna make me purge more. I'm doing good without purging though. It's been a few weeks. What good is me giving sharp things away gonna do ? I'm only gonna give myself access to more things.
My dad doesn't fucking realise I'm trying my best. Only person who actually tries to make stuff easier for me is my mother. Not my sister. Brother. Father. My dad expects me to just magically start doing shit. Like going to school. Get better grades. Start cleaning my room. Stop snapping at everyone. I can't do that. I'm fucking pathetic. They just can't realise that they're kid is getting worse mentally. I have many things to harm myself with. I get told to throw them out. It's easier said then done.
#Me again I'm so so sorry to use this so often. Tw self harm ,suicide,ed
carmine hazel
I found out my ex partner who had "commited" lied about that. I'm now stuck with a "y" scar on my thigh cuz I thought it would last and she was a good person. So when someone asks about it I have to say "I fell in love with the wrong person hahaha."
I'm just annoyed that I fell for her.
Cuz I just. Don't know if I deserved that.