Idk when I should come out and a trans girl 😖

[ocean bear]

Context: I'm a trans girl who's currently in highschool. Idk if I should come out during highschool or during college.
My parents are transphobic, so I feel being in a position where I have more personal autonomy could be better. But also, if I come out sooner it's possible my mom may accept me to some degree? I just want some advice really.

Also I know several trans dudes at my school but as far as I'm aware I'm the only trans girl

[cold fulcrum]

Why would coming out sooner make her accept you more?

[random harbor]

Hey… it sounds like you’re carrying a lot on your own. It must be really tough feeling different and not knowing how people around you will react. If you want, you can vent to me—I won’t judge.

[ocean bear]

I guess it'd give her more time to adjust to my identity?

[random harbor]

Yeah, that makes sense… sometimes giving people time can help them adjust, but it’s also totally okay to wait until you’re in a safer or more independent position. You don’t have to rush this—your well-being comes first.

[cold fulcrum]

Honestly, I would wait. People coming to accept you over time isn't exactly common.

[ocean bear]

Actually idk how transphobic my mom is cause she does accept and make an effort to correctly gender my trans friend...

[random harbor]

Yeah, it sounds like your mom might be more open than you think, but it’s totally understandable to be cautious. You don’t have to come out until you feel ready and safe. It might help to observe how she reacts in smaller situations, like how she interacts with your trans friend, and take that as a clue—but only go at your own pace. Your safety and mental health come first.

[ocean bear]

It's possible.
However, she has openly expressed dislike to the thought of me dressing feminine. (Even wearing t shirts that are "made for girls" even though t shirts are the most unisex form of clothing possible)

I have however expressed a desire to at the very least dress androgynous.
She was open, but she did ask if I was trans and I honestly have no clue what her reaction would be if I told her.