#So uhh, how do I come out to my Asian parents?

6 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

azure bluff
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I almost got outed as lesbian and non-binary when I was bullied last year, but my parents thought that it was just a rumor. I was born and I live in Hong Kong, an Asian territory. I know my dad supports LGBTQ and even has a gay friend himself who is happily married to a man, but I’m low-key kinda scared of him thinking that I’m too young or I’m just in a phase.

As for my mom, I know she has a bisexual friend who had a girlfriend before breaking up and marrying a man, but I asked her “How would you react if you knew I was gay?” and she didn’t really give a clear answer.

I’ve already come out to my friends, but I just can’t come out to my parents. They know nothing about changing genders except for transgender, and I’m not sure if they’re supportive of transgender people. I have this little fear that they won’t understand and possibly hate me for the rest of my life. Not to mention, my parents are both Asian, and Hong Kong doesn’t really give marriage support to gay couples.

So, I’m not sure how to come out to them. I just have this anxiety that they’ll think I’m just in a phase or I’m too young(I’m 13) to feel like this. Got any tips or tricks, anybody?

glad sphinx
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I myself am Asian as well and I came out to my parents before
To you, if too nervous, I’d recommend to do it through messages
If you feel okay enough then face to face, it’s the best to pick a time you’re comfortable with and best when both your parents are home

Try explaining to them if they ask why or what does it mean, state that you do feel more like yourself as how you say, but let them know it’s not a phase and it’s not too young to know who yourself are.

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Hope this helps

split ermine
ashen bane
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Hello! I just wanted to share some thoughts about this and some real facts:

1: The Legality of Same-sex (gay/lesbian) Marriages
No. These are NOT legal. According to the Hong Kong Marriage Reform Ordinance, a marriage is explicitly stated as "the voluntary union for life of one man with one woman to the exclusion of all others". Same-sex marriages are not legally binding. You can be as hypothetically married as you want, but it's not legal at the end. Still, I will not insult people for being gay couples, it's fine, and the government is also planning schemes to help up same-sex couples.

2: How to Come Out
It's okay! Considering your parents support LGBTQIA+, it should be alright to come out. The worse they could probably do was lecture you about gender and romance identities.

3: Chinese Culture on Gender Identities
Chinese culture is not really kind on LGBTQIA+, there are the 2 main genders, male and female. That's it. It is also expected for every man to marry a woman. It's always been like this when it comes to the Chinese, at least for prehistoric times.

Generally, I recommend you to come out truthfully, who knows, maybe they'd appreciate your honesty!

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