I came out as gay

[tulip kraken]

Advice please on how to deal with homophobic parents

[floral roost]

You could be bi with a preference

[tulip kraken]

I would ask my parents for support after i came out as gay but they dont support me or want anything to do with me apart from there legal responablity

[tulip kraken]

dont think thats the case

[tulip kraken]

thats sucks man. What I would say is to, until you fully get who you want to be with, consider that you could be pansexual. I struggled a lot with "Hey, I like girls" "But guys are cute as well" "But what the hell im I atracted to?" Pansexualality takes into play that you can be atracted to anyone, but have no specific favorite gender or identity.

i know i like both but men more

so omnisexuality could be an example

its getting myself to accept that before coming out to my parents again

cause that wont end well at all

[tulip kraken]

im in a christan family, and go to a christian high school. I'm also pansexual, a furry, and sometimes act more fem/masc (Even tho biologically a guy, alway have been)

I can get those struggles qwq

My dad said if i am in the lgbtq+ i am out at 18

so i am kinda worrid

[tulip kraken]

if you dont mind me saying, your dad sounds like a prick

im lucky my dad axcepted it all pretty well

say what u wanted

is true about my dad

lemme ask, do you really need to tell them? Like, do you have a boyfriend irl, or somthing that would give it away

cause you dont need to tell them. If your dad cant care enough about you to accept his own fucking son, then you sure as hell shouldnt tell him. Your life shouldnt be thier buisness. If your dad doesn't what you in his house if you come out, then nothing is going to change that.

[tulip kraken]

yeah

[tulip kraken]

i kinda was dating a boy

[tulip kraken]

Well my bf told him which mean I can’t deny it

[random remnant]

haha it's not a huge deal i'd suggest don't worry about it too much

i came out as gay in like the year after covid in middle school (8th grade)

and then in 11th grade i'm like hey i don't only like men

[tulip kraken]

I am kinda between gay and bi

[random remnant]

i just kind of talked aobut this girl i was kind of interested in once to my friends and tehy were like WHAT i thought you were gay

im like i guess i'm bi idk man life is complicated

[random remnant]

yeah you might be a 4-5 on the kinsley scale

that's cool i do find myself finding men attractive more often than women

[tulip kraken]

Well my parents don’t support me I have already broke down in a discord vc tonight

[random remnant]

is it due to religion

[tulip kraken]

Yeah they got me a bible and are making me go to church until I am “ sin free”

[random remnant]

kiss more boys then /j

jokes aside it sucks my mother although not religious she's been a bit resentful of my sexuality

[tulip kraken]

I already have done and it feels fantastic every time never gets old

[tulip kraken]

My dad had said if I can’t be straight at 18 I am not allowed home

[random remnant]

i've found peace with it because i just think she grew up in a slum and saw how poorly lgbtq people were treated she just wishes society to be kind to me

[random remnant]

i guess you have two options

1. find a lesbian/bisexual girl to be your beard
2. get yo shit together in the next 3 years

it sucks i acknolwedge that

well you defintely have more options than that what am i saying

[tulip kraken]

I do not really

[random remnant]

i think if you do something about it you'll feel better however small it may be

whether that be looking for lgbtq youth shelters or finding a way to get a job and saving some money

if you really feel that shit is in danger but also i mean i don't know your parents but 3 years is a long time they might change their minds

[tulip kraken]

Well I have broke down twice in the last two days because of this conflict in my head and I can’t cope crying in front of other boys my age and then sleeping in a shower block (on a cadet camp) to avoid being targeted

I litro walked out of the dorm crying so much cause I thought I was straight then gay then bi and what ever else there is

[random remnant]

it's ok to cry
fuck what other people think

i get it it sucks

[tulip kraken]

I mean full on crying not normal I mean the ugly crying

The way I got called homaphbic slurs during all that made it worse so I don’t know I can’t go back in

[random remnant]

i gotchu, i've ugly cried in public too
it hurts and it sucks but i realized nobody really remembered me in a bad way
and if they did fuck them because they don't matter to me

[tulip kraken]

It makes me feel like I am just some sinner who needs to go rot in hell

[random remnant]

do you think you're in physical danger

[tulip kraken]

I am not in physical danger

[random remnant]

you aren't and you won't

although i'm not religious i'll say this
anyone who judges you for wanting to kiss boys or whatever has some sin they're struggling with

they're (whether it be your classmates or parents) calling you slurs/excluding you/threatening to kick you out because that's their way of trying to deal with their sin

that doesn't make it ok but that's why it happens

[tulip kraken]

My dad says I’m the fucked up child out the 3 and I am probs not his after I came out as gay

Like there ment to support you as parents?

[random remnant]

he's projecting

[tulip kraken]

I’ve known I have been gay for about 5 years and I only came out a few month ago

[tulip kraken]

It’s cause I am the last one who can carry on family name that’s why I am fucked up in his eyes

[random remnant]

well you could also knock up 6 chicks in college which "carries the family name" yet he still doesn't see that

yeah see your dad probably struggles with his masculinity and is taking your sexuality personally none of which makes what he's doing ok

i'd hope he chills out within the next 3 years and realizes it isn't a big deal but that might be wishful thinking

[tulip kraken]

I mean he has caught me kissing my boyfriend

[random remnant]

do you think your boyfriend can give you a hand when you turn 18 (whether that be a couch, food, employment opportunities etc.)

[tulip kraken]

He won’t my granddad has drilled it into him that gay is bad

[tulip kraken]

We’re both in the same situation

[random remnant]

oh damn

[tulip kraken]

A month age difference

[random remnant]

have you two talked about/tried to plan for the future

[tulip kraken]

We don’t know if we gonna get that far

[random remnant]

esp if you're on your own young make sure you're careful on who to trust because many creepy/malicious adults will try to take advantage

[tulip kraken]

His dad is okay with him being gay but my dad isn’t nor is my mum

[random remnant]

what about your siblings

are they younger?

[tulip kraken]

Siblings don’t know

[random remnant]

i think if they're older they're more likely to give you a hand regardless of their personal beliefs but i could be wrong and you know your situation best

[tulip kraken]

I don’t want to tell them because they’ll try and get me kicked out wen I start making money

[random remnant]

oh

[tulip kraken]

That’s two years

[random remnant]

hmm it seems you go to a private religious school is that right? (that was a guess)

[tulip kraken]

No public school where I ment my bf

He has supported me the whole way through

[random remnant]

ok hmm do you have school counselors/social workers

or any teachers you trust

[tulip kraken]

That won’t work because it all goes on cpoms

All gets logged

[random remnant]

and your parents can see the logs?

[tulip kraken]

I came out as gay

[tulip kraken]

They’re one request away

[random remnant]

what if you say the info you share might lead you to an unsafe situation at home

[tulip kraken]

I’m under 18 I don’t get a say

I say that we have social services police at my door

[random remnant]

right

ok what about a crisis line or a local lgbtq+ shelter

[tulip kraken]

All logged

And parents can lock my SIM card

[random remnant]

you can't stay anon?

[tulip kraken]

?

[random remnant]

like not tell them (crisis line) your name

for me (i live in the u.s.) they only ask for a preferred name

[tulip kraken]

Required for safety and insurance

[random remnant]

insurance!?!?

holy shit

[tulip kraken]

Yeah legal issues if the arise

[random remnant]

maybe the best option is to go back into the closet as much as that'd suck

but having a plan always will never hurt

couchsurfing for a bit?

university?

job?

it's a lot to think about and i acknowledge it sucks but i hope maybe having a plan would make you feel better

[random remnant]

but also if your parents are going to kcik you out as soon as they legally can

again you have to weigh this against the option of going back into the closet

but if they're going to kick you out as soon as they can legally is the logging going to change anything?

again i don't know your situation that well so i'm just asking not suggesting

[tulip kraken]

Sorry I never repsonded i fell asleep

No loggin isnt gonna change it

[tulip kraken]

I would have to breakup with my bf though and i cant ruin love

[stray geyser]

Im with you joe,

[tulip kraken]

What way

[stray geyser]

supportyive way

supportive

[tulip kraken]

Okay…………

[tulip kraken]

No that wont help but they just keep saying im "confused" when I litro have a bf

[random remnant]

again they're confused it's projection