This year has fucking sucked so hard. I can’t even describe it, it’s just been so so so so awful. Okokok lemme give you a break down
I was rejected from a school I dreamt of for years. Worked my ass off, hours,days, weeks I spent on that application. But nope rejected, one of the reasons was stupid. Some of the students there are put in charge of the group interviews and guess what! A lot for he people in charge didn’t like me because I posted a lot of like countdowns and stuff about my application because I was so hyped about it. But they weren’t pleased and talked shit about me because of it.
My grandmother died a few months ago and holy shit that hit me like a ton of bricks, May was a rough month, that entire week was filled with a funeral and memorials every day. And I’d also made a fool of myself in front of the entire school in a debate. On Friday I hung out with a friend/my crush and I was happy to take my mind off things, until he asked me if I was into him. I didn’t want to answer, I knew what came next and I didnt want to hear it especially because of how shit my week had been. But I caved and said yeah. I’m still astonished that he did that. Rejecting me while I was grieving!?!?
May was the month where I practically gave up. I’d always tried to think positive but I was just so tired, I keep doing ||sh|| and I can’t help it, things just keep happening and I can’t say ANYTHING about it. Not again, nono. Last time that happened I got ratted out to the school counselor and was sent to mandatory therapy back in 2023. I don’t want to go to therapy, I hate hate hate therapy.