#coming out to my family??

22 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

loud thunder
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Hey, so I’m a lesbian and now I want to come out to my (all straight) family.

Nobody knows about it and I just figured out for sure that I’m a lesbian and before that I thought I was bi which I also told nobody. I don’t think that my parents won’t be supportive because they will but I’m kinda scared about some other things.

Like will they treat me differently? I think that they will probably try to act natural but maybe they’ll still act differently around me.

Also I’m not sure about how some members of my family will react. I’m pretty sure they’re all not homophobic but still. My sister told me one time that she doesn’t have anything against lesbians or queer people in general but that she doesn’t want others to believe that she is one of them. And it’s not something I should be scared of probably but it somehow sounded like she doesn’t like them when you understand what I mean. And then there are my grandparents that were something like homophobic till a few years ago but not anymore and I genuinely have no idea how they will react about that. With my other grandma I have no clue what she thinks about queer people and that scares me also.

And then there is this thing about that everyone ships me with that guy that I’m really good friends with and has a crush on me (which I’m really sure about). I even thought that I had a crush on him not a long time ago but never told anyone about it. I figured that I don’t have a crush on him (never really had one) But what I want to say is that like almost everyone makes comments about it (My friends, my family) They really thing that we’ll get together and if I’d tell them that I’m a lesbian I think they would be very confused and I know it’s not my problem but I’m still scared that they’ll maybe think I’m not a lesbian but bi because when I thought I was bi and thought I had a crush on him, I told my mum that I have a crush on him. I really don’t have a crush on him and I’m sure that I’m a lesbian.

rugged pollen
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That's alot like my situation but my sister isn't homophobic, I've came out to her and my parents and everyone else in my family is homophobic. My parents even asked if i wanted them to treat me differently, so I said no and they treat me the same. Just push through the stress and must up the courage to come out and I'm sure you'll be really relieved.

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Oh, and to add, you don't have to come out to your homophobic family members. I personally haven't came out to the rest of my family

loud thunder
# rugged pollen That's alot like my situation but my sister isn't homophobic, I've came out to h...

Thank you for answering!

I don’t think my sister is homophobic or something. I’m probably just overthinking her answer like I often do by much things.

And I also don’t know how to say it to them. Like I want to tell my mother first but I just never find a good moment to and I also don’t know how to say it to her. I know that she will be supportive but I’m just really scared even though there is no reason to.

rugged pollen
loud thunder
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I’ll try that! Thank you 🙏🏻

obsidian peak
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like would your parents kick you out or will your parents, if unaccepting, damage your mental health

loud thunder
obsidian peak
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so idk if ur american but i'm on the school lacrosse team

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and that was probably my biggest fear stopping me from coming out

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and i mean yeah sure they learned something new about me they're gonna treat me a little differently

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but like nobody acted like ew do you like me ew get away from me

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and i think anyone who matters to you won't treat you more differently than necessarily

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and by treating me a little differently i mean this time
teammate: "guys let's get [me] a girlfriend"
other teammate: "or boyfriend!!!"

loud thunder
obsidian peak
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ofc

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if your family/friends doesn't know you're sapphic at all then maybe just ease it in

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obvioulsy sample size of 1 here but i came out by just

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"so who have you had a crush on"
"uh [male name] blah blah blah"

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and if they ask for clarification then say you're lesbian