Stuck [?]

[small seal]

I'm tired, why did my psychologist thought that I could spend a whole summer without seeing him? I have been having at least one time when I start to sob and feel overwhelmed by life and my own thoughts a month. I cannot just tell my mom or anyone that could help cuz I was doing so well and my mom doesn't know about these moments and thinks I'm doing OK and maybe I'm just exaggerating cuz I'm over sensitive.

I'm also a freak that has poor ways of dealing with this besides ||[hitting myself||, bitting shit ||previously my arm, but I haven't done it for a long while]||, ||pulling my hair||...
And let's not forget that I cannot leave home alone cuz I get all anxious and look like a deer in headlights that will have a heart attack if you try to touch it.

I just want to have someone to help me somehow.

I also hate leaving home cuz I always mess up somehow in public places, embarrassing myself

I'm also a weirdo that gets distracted easily and can't even come out [] cuz I live in a small town and I can't even get a binder cuz my mom would suspect so I'm stuck not being able to even feel gender euphoria when I feel non-binary or male

[alpine comet]

If you feel like you need to or want to cry do so it’s a healthy response and can help release your emotions I have had similar issues I used to pull my hair due to stress and has done some of the stuff you have done crying does help

[zenith ginkgo]

I’m curious, is your mom someone you who you know would disapprove of are you just unsure?

Yeah, when you feel like crying, cry. Bottling it up only amplifies the feeling.

[small seal]

I actually think she wouldn't probably mind much if I was trans but I'm genderfluid and that's way more difficult to explain and I don't think she would get it, plus, my dad loves me but he's a bit more closed minded too