I feel like || cutting myself || again. I've been clean for so long. I feel like I'm too young, like my feelings aren't valid and I'm just overreacting. I shouldn't be feeling this way. I hate myself so much I can't stand this feeling I hate it why do I suddenly feel like || cutting || everyday once again. This same thing happened in 2022. I hated that year, I don't want to go through that again, I can't. I just can't. I'm so fucking pathetic I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm overthinking a lot more as well. This stupid thing has been going on for basically 4 years. It won't go away and I hate it a lot, it drains me. My own thoughts make me exhausted. I'm sorry if I'm mean sometimes, I'm sorry if I'm not in the best mood, I'm sorry for staying up too late and fucking up my sleep schedule, I'm sorry for always been tired, I'm sorry for not being able to do simple tasks, I'm sorry for not being able to remember things, I'm sorry for being the person I am. I always try to be kind and sweet and I like being that person, but I just can't bring myself to directly ask someone to open up, so instead I vent in a server or in my notes. I haven't been taking care of myself much, do I even deserve it anyways? I'm pathetic. I hate how i look. I just want to || carve into my skin and bleed out until I die. || I feel like everyone secretly hates me and thinks I'm weird but only stays so I don't get upset. What if they all suddenly leave one day? What if my partner loses interest in me? Am I too boring? Do I annoy everyone? Do I talk too much? Idk. I hate this. I just want it to go away. Why am I even sad? I have a loving family and everything. My life seems good. Theres things coming up to be excited about, why am I so fucked up and sad? I shouldn't be. Others have it worse. I'm just a kid being over dramatic. Hhtjtkdjfhhr I'm sorry for being this way
#Idrk js a vent (tw: sh)
spiral bolt
kind flower
You're not overreacting, and you're not too young, no matter someone's age, they're still valid. You shouldn't think yourself as less important than others. And everyone deserves love and care, even if you don't feel like you deserve it, you still do. And there's so many people that doesn't hate you, you still have a whole life ahead to meet new people and find new things to do. Sometimes we don't even know why we're sad, and that's okay, it's okay to be sad. And Sometimes you maybe need someone to talk to, someone you trust. And you shouldn't be sorry for being the way you are. Sometimes things can be overwhelming and exhausting, and life feels like shit, but it's still worth living for, even if it's hard to see, there's things to live for. And remember to try and take care of yourself, even if it's just small things.