Idk what to title this. Tw sh(?)

[sweet scroll]

I genuinely dont know what to do anymore. I can feel myself mentally slipping, becoming more empty by the second. Im too scared to ask for help and all I do is bedrot to cope. I want to hurt myself, I want to || carve into my skin || to feel better but the thought and guilt of scarring myself prevents me. I forget to eat most of the time and when I realize im hungry I dont even have a chance to eat because my mom is either making lunch or dinner. I cant even sleep properly anymore the thought of living, being a human being and going back to highschool haunt me like a fucking poltergeist. Im so tired. I have a best friend to talk to but im scared to vent to them because I feel guilty about it. Even my best friends LOVER said I could talk to them if I needed it but I would just end up feeling guilty due to my trauma not being as bad as theirs. Im afraid to be judged. Im afraid of being seen by a therapist because I dont want to be sent somewhere if I vent. I want to be heard by my family but im scared that they would make fun of me.

Im just so tired.

[sterile ember]

it doesn´t matter how bad it is.
people will be there for you.
people who don´t mind hearing it, people who won´t judge, etc.
if you need somebody to talk to, remember that I´m one of those people.

[green gyro]

I felt the same way about therapy. But when I started. It was actually kind of fun! I would vent, show her a few games, and leave. I recommend it because it can make you feel a lot better

[sweet scroll]

Thank you. I just feel so horrible and I dont know how to advocate for myself properly. I just needed somewhere to vent and I dont have many places.