#Why can't I get over it. [TW: Failed attempt, SH, Past Trauma]

5 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

muted dust
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||My ex bsf made my life a living hell. It's like I'm okay for a week, 1 month or so and then she comes back to my mind and I feel like shit again. She made me hate myself. I blame myself for so much shit. We stopped being friends twice. The first time was because I was pressured into doing it by another friend of mine. And I regretted it. The second time wasn't even my fault this time. I was so busy with keeping 2 friends of mine from killing themselves and she thought I wasn't paying any attention to her. She confronted me in class when I was talking with two friends and because I'm the type of person to get so mad I cry, I started to bawl my eyes out right on the spot. The first time we stopped being friends she went as far as cutting herself. She would join a game I would play and she would say she was cutting herself and that she was going to kill herself. I would never have wished for that to happen, but it's like she had no one. Her family is sweet. Her parents are caring, and she acted like she had no one. Like she had nothing. Why was she like that? I don't know. She's also fucking rich. I don't know why in the world she would act like she had nothing. The second time we stopped being friends I started cutting myself. At the time some of my friends wanted to die, and I couldn't take it. And at one point I attempted suicide but failed. I still feel like shit and I'm trying so hard not to cut myself again. I feel like I'm worthless. I feel like my family deserves better. I hate my life so much. I really do.||

alpine haven
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Im going thru almost that. But what i do to survive it is usually play with toys with my plushies, do crafts, talk with friends abt random funny stuff, make memes with them and stuff. It really helps me and i hope it might help u too!

muted dust
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thank you for trying to help. I'll try that stuff

whole pier
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My personal suggestion and what worked for me when I went through something similar is blocking her on any social media and stopping her from contacting you in any way. Then you should take time for yourself, let yourself relive the memories, good and bad until the anger or resentment or any negative emotions don't feel as fresh. You need time to come to terms with the fact that it wasn't a healthy friendship and that wasn't your fault.

alpine haven