dreamy flax
Ok so, I sent a huge text to someone yesterday because, uh, I just can't stand being around them anymore because they keep hurting us and they're so creepy and uh yeah whatever
So I was already anxious about sending the whole text, because I hate confrontation and it makes me genuienly panic, and like, while the text wasn't really bad, I know that the other person was gonna argue against it and keep asking "why" or say stuff that isn't true or try to convince us (as a system) to stay or some shit like that, and the only reason I even sent it is because I've had someone in front with me who was much more honest and bold than I am, because I, tend to just people please and get hurt and agree to things I don't want and like-
We put the person on ignore before we sent the text, sent it and immediately closed discord and tried to take our minds off of it because I'm scared of what that person will say, because we had a confrontation before, and they would not understand and not let off etc, but anyway, I know I need to check the DM's but I'm too scared to and just the thought of it makes it harder to breathe, and I don't have any friends nearby to do it for me, and I'm staying over at my friend's hosue at the end of august when (imo) the frame of "discussion" or talking to this person is already over, and I don't wanna wait that long, but I genuinely cannot open this DM... what the hell do I do???
I've been struggling so much recently, especially because this person was super stressing us out, but I didn't mention it cuz this perosn wouldn't understand anyway... we've just been really bad with things, and things are getting harder to keep to ourselves, and urges are getting too strong, and I'm not ready to open up to my therapist of one year because of past experiences that were very bad, and I'm just so lost
near swan