#TW: SH and SA and suicidal ideation

5 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

fluid spade
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I did it again, i fucking did it again. it's been a good 6 months yet i did it again. I've just been feeling so overwhelmed with everything in my life i dont know how to handle it with anything other than cutting. The reason i've been overwhelmed is because my ex bf is trying to ruin my fucking life because he's afraid i'll speak up about how he brutally SAed me. I can't bare to see him in school, he tries to steal my friends, i feel helpless, and i cant even do anything about it without being labeled a liar. I hate it. I hate it so much. I just want to die, i want all of this to end I want everything to stop and let me be. I dont want to remember every night what he did to me. I just want peace...I want to feel the peace I once felt 4 years ago. A peace that can only be felt through death.

mighty dove
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I know SA is scary, I've been through many abuse forms including SA.
Tell an adult (assuming you're underage) and if they don't listen tell a cop. They aren't allowed to brush off literal SA. Being scared of being seen as a liar or being called a liar is what your ex wants. They know eventually you'll stop trying and you can't let them have that satisfaction after what they've done. You deserve so much better and it's not known if death really is peace. For all you know death could be nothing. Literal nothing.
That ex bf is a monster and suicide and sh are mental monsters. You can tell parents and it may be uncomfortable, but if they're good people they'll help.
Anyone who tells you "you should've done something" or something along those lines is someone not worth your time. Victim blamers are horrible.

Overall, tell someone important like parents, cops, teachers anyone who has more power than your ex really.
I believe in you and I hope everything gets better for you. You have power, you just have to force yourself to use it.

fluid spade
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so i'm kinda stuck

mighty dove