#How can I start coming out to people in such a judge mental scary generation?

6 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

ruby bison
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I think I may be at the point we're I could start building courage to come out to people I am comfortable with.. However Im really scared knowing this current generation. It's really scary for me and I don't like how people could look at me differently. Another thing is, I have a gf, but I know I'm Bi and am into boys. I fancy my best mate but idk if he is gay or he acts it to be funny like 90% of ppl do now. Any help is really appreciated thank you 😊

gleaming bramble
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DUDE! if your friends don't accept you for who you are they aren't the best people. (srry if it sounded rude towards you or your friends)

snow prairie
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If u have a gf but like ur friend u need to break the rls off bcs no matter what your not completely in the rls so if u have a crush or feeling towards someone who is not her you need to express so

regal shell
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so first of all, i understand exactly how you feel about coming out bc that's how i felt. however, after coming out i realized most people are accepting or keep it to themselves if they're not. people will always be judgemental but our generation is much better than previous ones. although use discretion, i don't know what kind of place you are, don't come out if your physical safety is at risk. that being said, ask yourself: why should you care if other people see you differently? most of the people around you now will never see you ever again after you graduate, and have minuscule to no effect on your life.

the other thing is, you need to decide whether you want to stay with your girlfriend or pursue a relationship with your best mate. it's ok and normal to have feelings for others in a relationship, but stringing her along while you entertain the idea of a relationship with someone else and keeping her as the "safe option" is immature, hurtful, and unfair to her. If you want to stay with her then you gotta find a way to deal with it. maybe talk to her about it if you're comfortable and you think she will take it well.

if you decide to pursue a romantic relationship with your best mate, then I'd let her know and break up with her ASAP but in the nicest way possible (let her know it's not her fault etc.) it will hurt but it will hurt less then if she finds out she had been strung along.

however, this is the messy part. you need to find out if your best mate is gay/bi+ ASAP if you want to pursue a romantic relationship with him. if he says no, even if you suspect he is, take it as a no because chances are, even if he is closeted if he can't admit to his best friend he won't be emotionally available to have a healthy relationship with someone of the same sex.

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i've been in a situation where it felt like more than a friend with a guy friend who identified as straight and i'll say a situationship with someone you care about ending due to the inevitable awkwardness and breakdown in communication is probably one of the most painful feelings i've ever experienced

ruby bison